Each fingernail hit the table in four echoing taps. The fifty dollar nails demand the Post Office worker to work faster. I stand behind this manicured woman. Her platinum blonde hair hair was poof-ed up beyond belief. She could probably get planets to orbit her hair from the amount of hair spray she used. Actually, I could almost feel myself drawn in by its gravity to touch it. I imagine it for a minute. Me touching her hair, then the whole thing deflating in instant.
"Did my package get in?" The woman asks, her tan arm impatiently swinging to her side.
"Name Please?"
"Niaomi Peace."
The man scans his clip board.
"No package." he responds.
"Eugh! They were supposed to be in today! I tell you I paid good money for that express shipping!"
"Well mam, when did you order it?"
"Yesterday afternoon after my soaps." snaps Niaomi.
"I'm sorry that's just not enough time to get it out mam." Says the scrawny post office boy.
"This whole system is a crock I tell you." She grabs her leather rhinestone studded hand bag off the table and walks straight out without another word.
The post office boy exhales. His hands reach up to his scruffy goatee, he's apparently the type that participates in no shave November.
"How may I help you?" He asks.
"I'd like to ship out a package please." I say politely.
"Okay. Would you like to flat rate that?" he says turning around to a stack of flat boxes behind him.
"Yes." he places that in my hands and I bring up my grocery bag full of goodies onto the table.
The bag rustles as search within it for specific contents: green apple chapstick, Doritos, a Hello Kitty sweat shirt, A pringles can filled with homeade cookies and lastly a picture of myself.
"Oh you've got a missionary out."
"I guess you could say that.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Monday, October 29, 2012
I Miss You.
Missing people is tough. It's one of the hardest thing we will do in this life. It's that constant ache of remembering what used to be- by itself it's stifling hard and easy to get lost in. I remember the night before my friend Kyle was to leave for his mission. I started crying because I realized that was the last night that I would get to hang out with him for the next two years. I apologized later in a text for crying and for not knowing why I was crying. Then Kyle said something really unexpected, "It's okay Stacie, it just means you care about me."
I started bawling because it was true. We feel this grief when we love people so much that we can't even imagine them leaving us.
I miss a lot of people, my friend Kyle, my uncles Jones and Jr, my grandmother, my family in Arizona. I experience this emotion daily. The grief of being separated from those we love either by mortality or just space of time. Now imagine, how much our Heavenly Father misses us and how much he wants us to return to him. And how he does everything in his power to help us return to him. He paves a path for us to come back to him. The thing is though, is that we need to strengthen our relationship with our Father and pray to him because communication is a key part of curing the missing of someone.
When we miss someone and we have the power create a communication path with we shouldn't be missing them in the first place. We should write them, call them, visit them. Just because we can't physically be with them at that moment we should never underestimate any form of communication we were blessed with. And with communication with the Lord and with his strength and his Son's atonement all the pain we feel and grief of missing those no longer on this earth can be eased. He can help me fill the gap between my passed on Uncles and Grandmother. He can cure any pain or affliction of ours if we have faith.
Our future is as bright as our faith.
He loves us. Return to him.
I say these things because I honestly believe this is true.
love*love*love*
-Stacie D.
I started bawling because it was true. We feel this grief when we love people so much that we can't even imagine them leaving us.
I miss a lot of people, my friend Kyle, my uncles Jones and Jr, my grandmother, my family in Arizona. I experience this emotion daily. The grief of being separated from those we love either by mortality or just space of time. Now imagine, how much our Heavenly Father misses us and how much he wants us to return to him. And how he does everything in his power to help us return to him. He paves a path for us to come back to him. The thing is though, is that we need to strengthen our relationship with our Father and pray to him because communication is a key part of curing the missing of someone.
When we miss someone and we have the power create a communication path with we shouldn't be missing them in the first place. We should write them, call them, visit them. Just because we can't physically be with them at that moment we should never underestimate any form of communication we were blessed with. And with communication with the Lord and with his strength and his Son's atonement all the pain we feel and grief of missing those no longer on this earth can be eased. He can help me fill the gap between my passed on Uncles and Grandmother. He can cure any pain or affliction of ours if we have faith.
Our future is as bright as our faith.
He loves us. Return to him.
I say these things because I honestly believe this is true.
love*love*love*
-Stacie D.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Surviving College
This is what I have learned about SURVIVING COLLEGE.
Navigating the walkways of college can be a daunting task and with all the hustle and bustle of college life who can blame you? You're on a walk way with hundreds of other people pouring out of buildings to get to class then at the same time you are dodging dozens of people on bikes, longboards, scooters and other contraptions. If you are finding yourself to be one of those bombarded few I have a few tips for surviving college. They are quite silly, but take heed because they are rather helpful.
1) Walking-If your classes are far apart from each other on campus I urge you to invest in some quality shoes. I currently wear my little slip on Roxy's but you know, to each his own.
2) Traveling- Get a scooter, or a bike, long board, roller blades. Learn your campus bus shuttle schedule or whatever you use for transportation where ever you go. It will more often than not get you to class on time and shave off a few minutes on your travels there. No kidding- my scooter- Maurice- has shaved off 3 minutes of walking. BUT BE SAFE- DO NOT KILL PEDESTRIANS. I have crashed into more than my fair share of people.
3) Be Prepared- carry an umbrella, extra pair of shoes, socks and jacket. If you go to college and end up in a rain storm unprepared you feel rotten the rest of your day. Since the weather in Utah is almost always unpredictable I carry these essentials in my bag- a rain poncho in pink, extra socks ( I detest wet socks they are the worst!), A brush/ comb, occasionally extra shoes in case mine get soaked. Bring snacks so that you can eat when you are hungry. Being prepared is essential to comfortable success.
4) Study Study Study- Take advantage of your breaks between classes and study. Stop in your library and take a minute to reflect on what you have learned and or will learn. Read your assigned chapters and become familiar with your subject matter. Your input into your subject will pay you back loads. Buy a planner and map out your classes and study hours I promise it helps a ton.
5) Be Friendly- If this is your first year or even your third, just be friendly with everyone. The first week of school you don't even know if you will see people again. You will learn people's names a hundred times over before you remember. Make lots of friends so you won't ever have to sit alone. I'm not saying befriend complete creepers. I'm saying talk to those people in your gen. ed. classes and get their numbers/ contact info so you can set up study times and get notes if you miss a day. Attend class often. Talk to your professor become "chummy" with them. You'll have them all semester long and if you have questions they are usually the best to ask. Get to know your instructor and your grades will reflect your good student-ness.
6) Get Involved- Join a club, Attend Institute, work out in a group. Be a contributing part of your ward. You will receive blessings beyond belief. Love the Lord and work hard, you'll get what is best for you!
7) HAVE FUN- C'mon it's college have fun attend parties but don't do anything you'd be uncomfortable with. Enjoy your company with friends but also with your homework even though its company isn't always as thrilling. Talk to people- Keep your head up and tell yourself you'll survive. The first year of college is all about figuring it out. It gets better I promise.
love* love *love
Stacie D.
May your travels be short and swift filled with good cheer!
Navigating the walkways of college can be a daunting task and with all the hustle and bustle of college life who can blame you? You're on a walk way with hundreds of other people pouring out of buildings to get to class then at the same time you are dodging dozens of people on bikes, longboards, scooters and other contraptions. If you are finding yourself to be one of those bombarded few I have a few tips for surviving college. They are quite silly, but take heed because they are rather helpful.
1) Walking-If your classes are far apart from each other on campus I urge you to invest in some quality shoes. I currently wear my little slip on Roxy's but you know, to each his own.
2) Traveling- Get a scooter, or a bike, long board, roller blades. Learn your campus bus shuttle schedule or whatever you use for transportation where ever you go. It will more often than not get you to class on time and shave off a few minutes on your travels there. No kidding- my scooter- Maurice- has shaved off 3 minutes of walking. BUT BE SAFE- DO NOT KILL PEDESTRIANS. I have crashed into more than my fair share of people.
3) Be Prepared- carry an umbrella, extra pair of shoes, socks and jacket. If you go to college and end up in a rain storm unprepared you feel rotten the rest of your day. Since the weather in Utah is almost always unpredictable I carry these essentials in my bag- a rain poncho in pink, extra socks ( I detest wet socks they are the worst!), A brush/ comb, occasionally extra shoes in case mine get soaked. Bring snacks so that you can eat when you are hungry. Being prepared is essential to comfortable success.
4) Study Study Study- Take advantage of your breaks between classes and study. Stop in your library and take a minute to reflect on what you have learned and or will learn. Read your assigned chapters and become familiar with your subject matter. Your input into your subject will pay you back loads. Buy a planner and map out your classes and study hours I promise it helps a ton.
5) Be Friendly- If this is your first year or even your third, just be friendly with everyone. The first week of school you don't even know if you will see people again. You will learn people's names a hundred times over before you remember. Make lots of friends so you won't ever have to sit alone. I'm not saying befriend complete creepers. I'm saying talk to those people in your gen. ed. classes and get their numbers/ contact info so you can set up study times and get notes if you miss a day. Attend class often. Talk to your professor become "chummy" with them. You'll have them all semester long and if you have questions they are usually the best to ask. Get to know your instructor and your grades will reflect your good student-ness.
6) Get Involved- Join a club, Attend Institute, work out in a group. Be a contributing part of your ward. You will receive blessings beyond belief. Love the Lord and work hard, you'll get what is best for you!
7) HAVE FUN- C'mon it's college have fun attend parties but don't do anything you'd be uncomfortable with. Enjoy your company with friends but also with your homework even though its company isn't always as thrilling. Talk to people- Keep your head up and tell yourself you'll survive. The first year of college is all about figuring it out. It gets better I promise.
love* love *love
Stacie D.
May your travels be short and swift filled with good cheer!
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Chapter None: Lonely is Almost Lovely
The number flipped, she registered the change by the click. She glanced over at the dusty old alarm clock it read in white numbering 11:59 pm. She sighed and walked over to the little island in her apartment and blew out the honeysuckle scented candle. The once burning wick barely managing to glow faintly, but with one more deep rooted sigh the ember in the wick went out all together.
She fumbled around in the dark hall on the way to her room. In a moment of pure exhaustion she flopped down on her bed the spring mattress squeaked in protest. Her bed was made. Her room was clean and empty. Huffing once she decided it'd probably be best that she change her shoes. Meaning she had to go to her closet-which required effort-begrudgingly she got up and took those meaningless strides to take off her shoes.
Slipping off her heels, which were a little more than ostentatious for this evening with her friend she shoved them roughly into the glossy blue box she got them in. Then quickly she slipped out of her dress flinging it into the laundry basket while scooping her pajamas from off the floor. Within seconds she is dressed.
Her oversized teeshirt smells like home and her ratty torn pajama pants make her feel normal. Then she remembers the chocolate on the top shelf.
"Make good choices." she reminds herself as she walks away, only to walk back in and grab a hand full of chocolates.
She returns to her bed and unwraps the tin foil off her candy, and reads " You have a lovely laugh." She rolls her eyes balls the foil and tosses it onto the ground. It's a conspiracy the company is preying on sad lonely girls like herself with fake claims of lovely smiles.
That's when she unravels. It's not okay. It's not okay what he did to her. She stares into the ceiling as she thinks of all that they did. Those sunny summer afternoons, in the church parking lot drawing with chalk creating gardens for everyone to see on Sunday. The midnight drives to Salt Lake for no absolute reason. Laying out in open fields staring into the sky and discovering constellations that didn't even exist. Feeling the cool grass that just extended out beyond the edge of the fraying blanket tickling her fingertips. When his hand shyly slipped into hers then the grasp of something a little more than friendship. She thought about the smell of wood chips and metal and swinging into the early morning hours just because they could. The laughing the night that buzzed along her skin fueling her excitement the contrast of chilly air against blushing cheeks.
Then school started, he disappeared with the green leaves sunny skies all beautifully wrapped up in a simple goodbye. He left her on shaky ground. He never said what they were. If they were anything at all. He didn't even seal it with a kiss. Maybe he didn't want her to miss him too much. The fall swept in killing all the leaves. He said he'd call but between exams and a budding career she had only received a few. Even in those he sounded drained so they were kept short. Tears pricked in her eyes. Fall had taken more than just whom she had fallen for but it also took more than it's fair share of tears.
She rolled over and buried her head in her pillow.
That's when she heard it. The small rap on the door. Her heart stuttered. She got up and wiped her eyes. She meandered down the hall and saw the door. Another rap shortly followed but it was hesitant. All she could do was stare for a minute. Then one more quiet knock, just one. She grabbed the handle and twisted it open.
She saw him heading down the stairs.
Her heart leapt. She called out to him and he turned around. There wrapped up in an instant was her summer. Clear skies of blue eyes. Short cropped blonde hair yellow as her daddies fields.
"Didn't think you'd let me get too far." He said with a flash of white teeth.
"I'd never think of it." She responded with a grin.
There on a dimly lit apartment stair case they embraced.
" I've missed you like...a lot." he whispered into her auburn hair.
"Good. Because I've missed you a heap."
His arms lock around her with that she feels the summer gust the warm persistent breeze on her face.
"It took me a while but I made it here later than I planned." he says still hugging her.
"That's fine I still have cheesecake in the fridge."
"Spoons?"
"Yup."
The End.
If you would like more be sure to comment down below. Although I doubt anyone will read this. I can even start from the beginning if you would like...making it up as I go. Name suggestions would be cool too.
She fumbled around in the dark hall on the way to her room. In a moment of pure exhaustion she flopped down on her bed the spring mattress squeaked in protest. Her bed was made. Her room was clean and empty. Huffing once she decided it'd probably be best that she change her shoes. Meaning she had to go to her closet-which required effort-begrudgingly she got up and took those meaningless strides to take off her shoes.
Slipping off her heels, which were a little more than ostentatious for this evening with her friend she shoved them roughly into the glossy blue box she got them in. Then quickly she slipped out of her dress flinging it into the laundry basket while scooping her pajamas from off the floor. Within seconds she is dressed.
Her oversized teeshirt smells like home and her ratty torn pajama pants make her feel normal. Then she remembers the chocolate on the top shelf.
"Make good choices." she reminds herself as she walks away, only to walk back in and grab a hand full of chocolates.
She returns to her bed and unwraps the tin foil off her candy, and reads " You have a lovely laugh." She rolls her eyes balls the foil and tosses it onto the ground. It's a conspiracy the company is preying on sad lonely girls like herself with fake claims of lovely smiles.
That's when she unravels. It's not okay. It's not okay what he did to her. She stares into the ceiling as she thinks of all that they did. Those sunny summer afternoons, in the church parking lot drawing with chalk creating gardens for everyone to see on Sunday. The midnight drives to Salt Lake for no absolute reason. Laying out in open fields staring into the sky and discovering constellations that didn't even exist. Feeling the cool grass that just extended out beyond the edge of the fraying blanket tickling her fingertips. When his hand shyly slipped into hers then the grasp of something a little more than friendship. She thought about the smell of wood chips and metal and swinging into the early morning hours just because they could. The laughing the night that buzzed along her skin fueling her excitement the contrast of chilly air against blushing cheeks.
Then school started, he disappeared with the green leaves sunny skies all beautifully wrapped up in a simple goodbye. He left her on shaky ground. He never said what they were. If they were anything at all. He didn't even seal it with a kiss. Maybe he didn't want her to miss him too much. The fall swept in killing all the leaves. He said he'd call but between exams and a budding career she had only received a few. Even in those he sounded drained so they were kept short. Tears pricked in her eyes. Fall had taken more than just whom she had fallen for but it also took more than it's fair share of tears.
She rolled over and buried her head in her pillow.
That's when she heard it. The small rap on the door. Her heart stuttered. She got up and wiped her eyes. She meandered down the hall and saw the door. Another rap shortly followed but it was hesitant. All she could do was stare for a minute. Then one more quiet knock, just one. She grabbed the handle and twisted it open.
She saw him heading down the stairs.
Her heart leapt. She called out to him and he turned around. There wrapped up in an instant was her summer. Clear skies of blue eyes. Short cropped blonde hair yellow as her daddies fields.
"Didn't think you'd let me get too far." He said with a flash of white teeth.
"I'd never think of it." She responded with a grin.
There on a dimly lit apartment stair case they embraced.
" I've missed you like...a lot." he whispered into her auburn hair.
"Good. Because I've missed you a heap."
His arms lock around her with that she feels the summer gust the warm persistent breeze on her face.
"It took me a while but I made it here later than I planned." he says still hugging her.
"That's fine I still have cheesecake in the fridge."
"Spoons?"
"Yup."
The End.
If you would like more be sure to comment down below. Although I doubt anyone will read this. I can even start from the beginning if you would like...making it up as I go. Name suggestions would be cool too.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Dreams
Silver light skies pin-pricked with the lights of heaven above the stars come out to stay. The thud of my heart rings true in my ears reminding me I in fact alive. I can feel the night, the electrifying feel of the night tickling my fingertips. My every sense has been heightened and I feel a difference within myself. Fingers dancing across the key board clack bringing a world that thrives within a head into tangible form. The rush of the writer begins, the thrill of coaxing a story from the head onto page begins. It's here, in real words, the writers biggest accomplishment and agony. It's before an audience as they devour the words that were so painstakingly written.
Uncertainty is always in the path, for a naive girl who hasn't yet experienced the world. The topics she writes about though have their own world systems. She can only hope she can get that world of hers out on that paper for everyone to see. She's sensitive to the critiques they have to offer, they tred recklessly on her words stomping down thoughts and ideas that have become special to her. Her imagination is leaked for the world to see, the people she knows and loves are finally known, her story so ardently written is off to slaughter.
Yet, this is her biggest dream/desire, to be heard and to be appreciated for what she has to offer to the world through thought. To be an independent and noticed for her thoughts, to be loved based on the mind. It's more than she can ask for. More than a young woman to ask for. She wants it so badly it's in every waking thought, each word scribbled down on scrap contributes to a her world to make it a whole. Its all and everything she could ask for.
She's a writer daring to be heard.
Uncertainty is always in the path, for a naive girl who hasn't yet experienced the world. The topics she writes about though have their own world systems. She can only hope she can get that world of hers out on that paper for everyone to see. She's sensitive to the critiques they have to offer, they tred recklessly on her words stomping down thoughts and ideas that have become special to her. Her imagination is leaked for the world to see, the people she knows and loves are finally known, her story so ardently written is off to slaughter.
Yet, this is her biggest dream/desire, to be heard and to be appreciated for what she has to offer to the world through thought. To be an independent and noticed for her thoughts, to be loved based on the mind. It's more than she can ask for. More than a young woman to ask for. She wants it so badly it's in every waking thought, each word scribbled down on scrap contributes to a her world to make it a whole. Its all and everything she could ask for.
She's a writer daring to be heard.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Monday, September 17, 2012
Fatal Academic Distractions
I stare at a blank screen willing words to come out of me. It's not exactly working so instead I decided to indulge in one of my favorite college past times, a wonderful idea that I developed last year. A steaming cup of noodles/ OR/ a microwave cake and one of my favorite shows playing in the background. The chosen show this time is Castle's season finale.
I have one of many options now..
Either way, let me give you some choice advise. Do your homework, on time. Sit in a quiet room and think, ask questions on why this changed you. Brain storm! Word Vomit! Just WRITE because it is beautiful and will get you somewhere. Either way, I still have a couple more paragraphs to write so I'm not exactly too behind. Sometimes though you gotta let creativity strike you, not you strike it.
Avoid Fatal Academic Distractions. Be alone AND STUDY. Ponder ponder ponder!
love*love*love
~Stacie Shannon Denetsosie
I have one of many options now..
- Write my English paper that is due tomorrow and feel completely at ease
- Watch Castle and plunge my fork back into that noodely goodness
- Write back a Dear Missionary friend
- Or waste my life on my Blog, Pintrest, or Facebook
Either way, let me give you some choice advise. Do your homework, on time. Sit in a quiet room and think, ask questions on why this changed you. Brain storm! Word Vomit! Just WRITE because it is beautiful and will get you somewhere. Either way, I still have a couple more paragraphs to write so I'm not exactly too behind. Sometimes though you gotta let creativity strike you, not you strike it.
Avoid Fatal Academic Distractions. Be alone AND STUDY. Ponder ponder ponder!
love*love*love
~Stacie Shannon Denetsosie
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Saturday, September 15, 2012
My Endeavor for the Best Sweater
A few months ago I posted a post called "Endeavor for the Best Sweater." Well I would like to tell you that my sweater hunt has come to a complete halt as school has just begun. Which means it's probably better that I focus on my studies anyways. Hahaha. So recently I encountered an experience resembling rejection. Eugh, right? Sounds absolutely terrible but, like my journal says, "everything you are learning now is preparing you for something else."- Majorie Pay Hinckley
All I can hope for is that the fact that I actually learned something- and I did! Yes. You can't wear a sweater that does not want to be worn. It seems I have discovered a ever growing popular set of sweaters that just don't want to be worn! So, I guess I'll just tell you what I have learned. If a sweater doesn't want to be worn, don't push it. PUT IT BACK ON THE RACK. No matter how soft and good it smells, you deserve to wear it. I also learned that sweaters have feelings, yes this probably isn't a surprise to all you experienced folk out there but to me it was crazy. That they are just as freaked out by you as you are to them. This whole shopping experience is just plain freaky to me.
Remember that there is a club for this and if you'd like to be part of it just contact me via my blog or e-mail and you can be part of a new exclusive club called...FORGET MEN ACQUIRE MONEY. Don't judge the name for the club it's mostly just a club where we can joke about it. It's just a fantastic thing and I'd rather laugh through life than cry through it. Crying over sweaters is like crying over spilled milk. I have a funny outlook but I hope you know you are way neat. You deserve a custom sweater. :)
love*love*love*
May your travels be short and full of adventure!
All I can hope for is that the fact that I actually learned something- and I did! Yes. You can't wear a sweater that does not want to be worn. It seems I have discovered a ever growing popular set of sweaters that just don't want to be worn! So, I guess I'll just tell you what I have learned. If a sweater doesn't want to be worn, don't push it. PUT IT BACK ON THE RACK. No matter how soft and good it smells, you deserve to wear it. I also learned that sweaters have feelings, yes this probably isn't a surprise to all you experienced folk out there but to me it was crazy. That they are just as freaked out by you as you are to them. This whole shopping experience is just plain freaky to me.
Remember that there is a club for this and if you'd like to be part of it just contact me via my blog or e-mail and you can be part of a new exclusive club called...FORGET MEN ACQUIRE MONEY. Don't judge the name for the club it's mostly just a club where we can joke about it. It's just a fantastic thing and I'd rather laugh through life than cry through it. Crying over sweaters is like crying over spilled milk. I have a funny outlook but I hope you know you are way neat. You deserve a custom sweater. :)
love*love*love*
Monday, September 10, 2012
The Power of Hello!
Okay, so today I've had a pretty rough day. Really rough, like from the moment I woke up this morning I just wanted to stay in bed and not go anywhere. Like how no matter how cute you dress it's still not enough to feel cute. Tremendously rough. My text books were not going through and I wasn't feeling very good and well it was just crazy how angry I was.
Then it was time for my class and on my way to class I saw a guy in my ward who is quite a nice fellow. He greeted me and right after that I had the thought cross my mind " i need a friend, i have a friend." I felt a little bit better about my day, then it started to rain. I was crossing quickly across the quad when I made eye contact with a fellow who is friends with the fellow I used to like. In response to that I looked away, I had that terrible sinking feeling in my chest when he said " Hey Stacie!" I responded back hey and walked way before the blush could spread.
Sometimes on a bad day all you need is a hey. From someone really neat, sometimes you get it sometimes you don't. It's sweet and great.
Say hey anyway.
love love love
ssd
Then it was time for my class and on my way to class I saw a guy in my ward who is quite a nice fellow. He greeted me and right after that I had the thought cross my mind " i need a friend, i have a friend." I felt a little bit better about my day, then it started to rain. I was crossing quickly across the quad when I made eye contact with a fellow who is friends with the fellow I used to like. In response to that I looked away, I had that terrible sinking feeling in my chest when he said " Hey Stacie!" I responded back hey and walked way before the blush could spread.
Sometimes on a bad day all you need is a hey. From someone really neat, sometimes you get it sometimes you don't. It's sweet and great.
Say hey anyway.
love love love
ssd
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Summer Is Over
Whoa, where did my summer go? After my Bear Lake adventure with my ward it just sort of disappeared! It's honestly really sad to see it go, because when summer goes it takes people with it. I'm a big people person-although I hate to admit it I am. If I make a friend in my mind this is long lasting and not short lived. I love having connections with people. I'm constantly worried about a friend a day. I truly honestly value every encounter I have with someone who goes away as a friend.
This summer was filled with friendships-strong powerful-not short lived ones. I hung out with a spectacular group of people, to name a few: The classy Carlie Ricks ( Car Car), The cub Kyle Loftin (Ky Ky), Brianne Larsen, Jenette Kozlowski and Kristen Rose. If you guys didn't know. My buddy Ky ky is leaving on a mission tomorrow, he's headed off to the MTC and is going to be gone for two years to diligently serve the lord. He will claim the title Elder Loftin and serve in Mississippi and for some reason I'm taking his leaving really hard. I think for the first time I actually understand the sacrifice that missionaries take to go on a mission. It's amazing to me the strides they take to leave home for two years and spread the gospel. The thing for me is that it's never been close to home. It was always my friends brothers or just some friends I didn't spend much time with (whom I still valued.)
What I also don't like are ends. The end of anything. Food, a year, a perfect moment, a night, a goodbye. I the thing is you need a goodbye to say hello again. In navajo you never truly say goodbye, you say I will see you again soon. It's never final. Maybe that's why I don't like goodbyes, because I don't get the context of them. Hahah. But with this end there is a whole new start.
I started my third semester today, second year of college, and it was brilliant. I felt rejuvenated and revived. It felt nice knowing where I was, what I was doing and what task needed to be done. After this summer maybe a little structure will help. I will never no never regret the late nights spent at Carlie's though. The flinging of glow sticks, the secrets, the drama/chillness of it all. It wasn't all sugar drops and gum berries but it was close to perfect.
So, with a heavy heart but an excited prospect ahead of me I say goodbye to this summer and move on-but always remember.
love*love*love*
Stacie D.
-P.S. Pictures of me and the gang the gang includes ( Carlie, Kyle, Brianne, Jenette, Me, Kristen, Travis and I think that's all.)
Great friends will always remain great. It's just our job to be the always.
Obsessed with this song even though it's kinda sad...:)
This summer was filled with friendships-strong powerful-not short lived ones. I hung out with a spectacular group of people, to name a few: The classy Carlie Ricks ( Car Car), The cub Kyle Loftin (Ky Ky), Brianne Larsen, Jenette Kozlowski and Kristen Rose. If you guys didn't know. My buddy Ky ky is leaving on a mission tomorrow, he's headed off to the MTC and is going to be gone for two years to diligently serve the lord. He will claim the title Elder Loftin and serve in Mississippi and for some reason I'm taking his leaving really hard. I think for the first time I actually understand the sacrifice that missionaries take to go on a mission. It's amazing to me the strides they take to leave home for two years and spread the gospel. The thing for me is that it's never been close to home. It was always my friends brothers or just some friends I didn't spend much time with (whom I still valued.)
What I also don't like are ends. The end of anything. Food, a year, a perfect moment, a night, a goodbye. I the thing is you need a goodbye to say hello again. In navajo you never truly say goodbye, you say I will see you again soon. It's never final. Maybe that's why I don't like goodbyes, because I don't get the context of them. Hahah. But with this end there is a whole new start.
I started my third semester today, second year of college, and it was brilliant. I felt rejuvenated and revived. It felt nice knowing where I was, what I was doing and what task needed to be done. After this summer maybe a little structure will help. I will never no never regret the late nights spent at Carlie's though. The flinging of glow sticks, the secrets, the drama/chillness of it all. It wasn't all sugar drops and gum berries but it was close to perfect.
So, with a heavy heart but an excited prospect ahead of me I say goodbye to this summer and move on-but always remember.
love*love*love*
Stacie D.
-P.S. Pictures of me and the gang the gang includes ( Carlie, Kyle, Brianne, Jenette, Me, Kristen, Travis and I think that's all.)
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| Jenette, Me, Brianne |
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| Jenette Me Brianne Doing blue steel |
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| Dave, Jenette, Me, Car, Ky Ky (most of the gang) at the Demolition Derby |
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| One of our many activities- we went bowling, hiking and more! |
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| The Gang (At Kyle's Farewell) |
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Feeling Novel-y (fiction)
"Are you sweet on him?" They ask with hushed voices. I purse my lips trying to smother the smile that seems to be spreading despite my efforts. " Come on you can tell us." A cool breeze sweeps over my face, I can almost taste the faint smell of the lake down below. I glance past all the faces and the warm glow to the fire. The moon hangs low in the sky, illuminating the water below, it's actually quite lovely.
I can't seem to concentrate on the little dazzling moon specs on the water, because there are eyes here staring me in the face. "Come on you can tell us." says one of the girls I am not particularly fond of.
I duck my head down because I can feel the furious blush come on. It's dark so I'm safe, for tonight at least. "If you don't say anything, we'll just tell him you do." threatens my friend.
"I'm not sure about it." I answer, the words sounding like desperate gasps for air.I can see it in the eyes of the girls my answer was clearly lack luster.
You see since I started going to the ward I had encountered many difficulties and this seemed to be one of them. I was relatively experienced in the dating field. Leaving me feeling vulnerable and mostly clueless. Very Clueless. I hadn't noticed that I was completely clueless until a certain gentleman asked me for my number and I just laughed at him for it. Until I realized he was dead serious. Oh, and that ended most spectacularly.
So, now, sitting in a beautiful cabin on a retreat with my ward I was most vulnerable. Not only because that particular person who plagued me was here but the fact that knew I wouldn't be able to hide from my ward anymore. Even my closets friends were starting realize that something was off about me. They certainly asked, but I couldn't tell them. Not just yet. Not until I was sure how I felt about everything.
I can't seem to concentrate on the little dazzling moon specs on the water, because there are eyes here staring me in the face. "Come on you can tell us." says one of the girls I am not particularly fond of.
I duck my head down because I can feel the furious blush come on. It's dark so I'm safe, for tonight at least. "If you don't say anything, we'll just tell him you do." threatens my friend.
"I'm not sure about it." I answer, the words sounding like desperate gasps for air.I can see it in the eyes of the girls my answer was clearly lack luster.
You see since I started going to the ward I had encountered many difficulties and this seemed to be one of them. I was relatively experienced in the dating field. Leaving me feeling vulnerable and mostly clueless. Very Clueless. I hadn't noticed that I was completely clueless until a certain gentleman asked me for my number and I just laughed at him for it. Until I realized he was dead serious. Oh, and that ended most spectacularly.
So, now, sitting in a beautiful cabin on a retreat with my ward I was most vulnerable. Not only because that particular person who plagued me was here but the fact that knew I wouldn't be able to hide from my ward anymore. Even my closets friends were starting realize that something was off about me. They certainly asked, but I couldn't tell them. Not just yet. Not until I was sure how I felt about everything.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Arizona Adventures!
Lightning cracked across the horizon repeatedly for the space of three days. The once hard sand baked ground became soupy with red mud. The sky not only cried but had reasonable amounts to cry a seem less endless drizzle. My cousins huddled around the water streaked window window, flinching whenever the lightning struck the ground, illuminating their young eyes with a brilliant flash. They're voices were low and hushed as they conversation about when the rain would stop.
My youngest cousin had found safety wrapped in my right arm with her head atop her knees.
"Stacie, I scared." she said, carefully using her baby talk to sound even more child like. I soothe her by rubbing her back and drawing pictures for her. She eases down and starts talking to me asking what the picture is of and what's going on. She looks over at me and then CRACK the lightening cracks her composure and she's in my lap again, shaking and worried. "Stacie, I scared." She says again. I rub her head. Sometimes we just have to weather the storm.
A little dramatic usage there, I actually wrote that during a lightening storm on the Rez.The Navajo Reservation to be exact.
love*love*love*
Stacie D.
My youngest cousin had found safety wrapped in my right arm with her head atop her knees.
"Stacie, I scared." she said, carefully using her baby talk to sound even more child like. I soothe her by rubbing her back and drawing pictures for her. She eases down and starts talking to me asking what the picture is of and what's going on. She looks over at me and then CRACK the lightening cracks her composure and she's in my lap again, shaking and worried. "Stacie, I scared." She says again. I rub her head. Sometimes we just have to weather the storm.
A little dramatic usage there, I actually wrote that during a lightening storm on the Rez.The Navajo Reservation to be exact.
love*love*love*
Stacie D.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Just Let Me Sleep/ Reality?
Just Let Me Sleep
Wishes for better days find me in this hazy lagoon
Faint trickles of reality burst into my sweet slumber
Streaked with stretched veins the world becomes my view
A lingering sense of satisfaction touches my achy head
In a dream where beauty touched every figment
It's hard to wake up to test the day against the night
When all I want is the stretch of sleep
Honestly I tend to get stuck on the past, if the past was a giant door I would be stuck on the coat hanger at the top of the door trying to reach for the other door which is the present, as I occasionally peeked out the doorway of the future. Mostly the imaginary coat rack has me stuck on regrets those what if's, shouldas, could haves. I'm hung up. I search for reasons not to move on and to live my life. Which is sort of silly but comforting at the same time. I know what happened in the past I can read the signs better now and now that it's passed I'm just dumbfounded waiting in my train of thought station for the present.
The present isn't always pretty though and the future can be dolled up and appear beautiful, the past is just as it is maybe more dramatic for me than it really is but nonetheless still appears nice.
Sorry, Readers. I didn't mean to make this so journal entry like.
The thing is we don't see the grand scheme of things we only see one thing as we are presently going through them. The past is for reflection: on how to better a situation or change it if we are ever presented with a similar situation.
Heavenly Father sees it all. He sees all of it and when you pray to him he knows you personally. He will help you personally. No two testimonies are the same. I know that he can help you with the past and what you are hung up on. He works on his own time table though you won't get the answer right away or when you expect it.
We need to have patience to know just about anyone, especially to know your Heavenly Father. And although patience tends to be a tough crowd for me I know that in the end every thing will be alright. On my own personal journal it says " Everything you are learning now is preparing you for something else." I honestly believe that. If you ever have a sour day or things in your life just aren't going your way- which I feel like right now. Just LIVE. Make a bucket list. Write it down get it all done and feel that todayness- rather than dwelling on all those dusty memories that seemed better in hindsight.
Fortune cookie time: Learn from yesterday, Live for today, Prepare for tomorrow.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Cover Up.
Yesterday I decided to watch some of the YouTubers I watch quite often. One of them was a make-up guru who did tutorials and gave fashion advice. Usually I'm so excited about what she is going to share, because you know she's really fashionable and pretty like all the time- you know something I would like to be more like. In essence I want to be a person who cares about her appearance rather than just running out the door in my pajama shirt and jeans.
I clicked on a video that showed her going through her her makeup and jewelry collection...and suddenly got very overwhelmed. Everything she had just made me feel like I had nothing. She had gotten her jewelry from really expensive places and had designer makeup-Chanel, nars, and other fancy designer places. It made me feel really inadequate, like I didn't have enough products to make me beautiful. It felt like I couldn't attain the beauty she had because I didn't have these things to make me appear so.
I got really frustrated by all of it.
I all of a sudden didn't feel pretty and felt like I had to get some concealer for the bags under my eyes and a brow pencil to make my brows look fuller and darker. I created a list of everything that was wrong with me and the products that could correct it, they were all in my head just mocking me. I didn't have foundation, I've never put a drop of it on my face and I didn't know my color. I found myself unceremoniously clueless on how to attain beauty.
Then something crossed my mind. I didn't need concealer, I had nothing to hide on my face. I didn't have any break outs or major skin imperfections. I didn't need to diminish my true beauty because I had nothing to hide.
Today the modern world has created things that we need to "hide", our little imperfections are no longer what makes us beautiful. The things that make us individuals are nearly taken away from us on every plane. We have ads constantly telling us to take this, use this, buy this and you will become beautiful.
But HONESTLY these aren't the ways to attain beauty. We are born beings created by our Heavenly Father we are already born beautiful in his eyes. We are all born beautiful creatures of god...then this becomes hard to accept when someone is telling you are not adequately equipped to just be naturally beautiful
I'm not saying don't ever wear make up, what I'm saying is to be able to see beauty after you wipe it all off. After all the goop and paint is off your eyes and it's just you. We are beautiful in our imperfections. It's fun to get ready as much as the next girl just next time you take off all your make up know you are just as pretty as you are when you have it on. It's not the make up that makes you you. It's you who makes the make up what it is.
Love your Reflection. You are lovely. Oh and remember- Real beauty doesn't need to be maintained physically and it never ages or fades.
love*love*love*
Stacie D.
Today the modern world has created things that we need to "hide", our little imperfections are no longer what makes us beautiful. The things that make us individuals are nearly taken away from us on every plane. We have ads constantly telling us to take this, use this, buy this and you will become beautiful.
But HONESTLY these aren't the ways to attain beauty. We are born beings created by our Heavenly Father we are already born beautiful in his eyes. We are all born beautiful creatures of god...then this becomes hard to accept when someone is telling you are not adequately equipped to just be naturally beautiful
I'm not saying don't ever wear make up, what I'm saying is to be able to see beauty after you wipe it all off. After all the goop and paint is off your eyes and it's just you. We are beautiful in our imperfections. It's fun to get ready as much as the next girl just next time you take off all your make up know you are just as pretty as you are when you have it on. It's not the make up that makes you you. It's you who makes the make up what it is.
love*love*love*
Stacie D.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Choices and Invitations
I have problems with my identity...I guess everyone does. I feel like mine goes much deeper though. I know that the Lord has everything happen for a reason but sometimes I get upset of why he put me in the situation I'm in now. Then comes the knowledge that in the pre-mortal life I had chosen this, I had accepted all the challenges that were set before me. I was willing enough to endure the trails I was to face to get back to him. You see I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and I truly believe that this church was set up for us to return to our Heavenly Father.
Now, I bet you are wondering what oh so difficult things I've had to deal with. I don't know if I can tell you all yet but it's pretty big to me.
In this life we have choices..choices we have make and trials to face. We only pray that we will have the strength to get through the storm.
Yesterday, the young single adults in our ward were given a little fire side by our bishopric. We were told a story about a man who everyday made a choice to be positive and happy and helped everyone else to do so. Then one day he was held at gun point, and as he was opening the cash register at his work he fumbled and dropped the keys. The burglars panicked and shot him. Luckily short after people found him and he was rushed to the hospital there everyone was looking at him like a dead man. While being asked a question by a loud nurse about what he was allergic to he said he was allergic to bullets. The frantic medics just laughed by this mans attitude. He then told them to work on him as if he was a living patient who was going to make it through then a futile effort to work on a dying patient.
With much success they were able to revive the man and get him back on his feet. Later the narrator came to visit the man and asked him how he was doing. He said If I was any better I'd be dead...wanna see my scars?
The narrator laughed and learned a valuable lesson from this optimistic man. This man had chosen his fate based on what he chose to invite into him. He invited optimism and good outcomes rather than inviting something that could potentially pull him down.
I have a choice to invite these feelings of sadness pull me down or I could chose upliftment from my life my family and my church. I chose the latter. I love what I have and everything comes only with an invitation. You invite things into your head to uplift you, bring you down- now I'm not saying you invite bad luck to yourself but you choose to live in what you invite. Be aware you always have a choice to send and invitation or turn one away.
Okay, now I'm going to relate this to sweaters. It's become bit of a theme and inside joke based actually. You have a choice to be optimistic about your sweater but also remember to invite the sweater. Be open to the thought of a new thing a new opportunity. Things come when you ask and invite them to yourself just be sure that it fits first. I invite you to make your own choices.
Be friendly.
Be loving.
Be YOU.
love*love*love*
Stacie D.
You'll get there eventually too!
Now, I bet you are wondering what oh so difficult things I've had to deal with. I don't know if I can tell you all yet but it's pretty big to me.
In this life we have choices..choices we have make and trials to face. We only pray that we will have the strength to get through the storm.
Yesterday, the young single adults in our ward were given a little fire side by our bishopric. We were told a story about a man who everyday made a choice to be positive and happy and helped everyone else to do so. Then one day he was held at gun point, and as he was opening the cash register at his work he fumbled and dropped the keys. The burglars panicked and shot him. Luckily short after people found him and he was rushed to the hospital there everyone was looking at him like a dead man. While being asked a question by a loud nurse about what he was allergic to he said he was allergic to bullets. The frantic medics just laughed by this mans attitude. He then told them to work on him as if he was a living patient who was going to make it through then a futile effort to work on a dying patient.
With much success they were able to revive the man and get him back on his feet. Later the narrator came to visit the man and asked him how he was doing. He said If I was any better I'd be dead...wanna see my scars?
The narrator laughed and learned a valuable lesson from this optimistic man. This man had chosen his fate based on what he chose to invite into him. He invited optimism and good outcomes rather than inviting something that could potentially pull him down.
I have a choice to invite these feelings of sadness pull me down or I could chose upliftment from my life my family and my church. I chose the latter. I love what I have and everything comes only with an invitation. You invite things into your head to uplift you, bring you down- now I'm not saying you invite bad luck to yourself but you choose to live in what you invite. Be aware you always have a choice to send and invitation or turn one away.
Okay, now I'm going to relate this to sweaters. It's become bit of a theme and inside joke based actually. You have a choice to be optimistic about your sweater but also remember to invite the sweater. Be open to the thought of a new thing a new opportunity. Things come when you ask and invite them to yourself just be sure that it fits first. I invite you to make your own choices.
Be friendly.
Be loving.
Be YOU.
love*love*love*
Stacie D.
You'll get there eventually too!
Friday, June 8, 2012
*Life Is A Zoo*
As of yesterday we celebrated my dear friend Brianne's birthday. I'm sure you've heard enough of Brianne and Jenette but as of now you will hear even more! They are quite a fixture in my life. The party started at nine o clock and I headed out to Seat Covers Plus, this is our meeting ground! We all show up and leave for the zoo with no stops but for food, fourwheeler parts and snacks.
When we finally leave the valley we are rocking out to some Kelly Clarkston. We drive through many places to get to our final destination which is HOGLE ZOO! Yuss, we are going to see all the animals. I will show you some pictures along the way... which were taken yesterday.
I apologize for the bad quality I don't carry a camera I carry my cell phone and it does okay.
So after we leave the zoo we Head off the NEW CITY CREEK MALL where we spend more time than we should in FOREVER 21 and LUSH. Sorry I didn't take any pictures there I was too distracted by all the clothes!
Later we leave and this is our food. Let me tell you ZUPA'S was delicious and this cake was delicious as well. I had quite an adventure yesterday and when I finally got home I tell you I was drained. I went straight to bed at 10:45 pm which is quite early for this girl. I tell you not to forget life's sweet fruits and all the blessings you receive...like this cake. Quite a blessing indeed. I decided to leave ya on something sweet. Eat with your eyes baby. Eat with your eyes.
love* love*love
~ Stacie D!
When we finally leave the valley we are rocking out to some Kelly Clarkston. We drive through many places to get to our final destination which is HOGLE ZOO! Yuss, we are going to see all the animals. I will show you some pictures along the way... which were taken yesterday.
I apologize for the bad quality I don't carry a camera I carry my cell phone and it does okay.
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| LEAVING THE VALLEY! FINALLY! |
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| Zuri The Babiest of all the elephants!!! |
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| Man Gorilla I mean lazy man gorilla |
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| These porcupines were licking each other like crazy. DROSS |
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| Creeper picture of bri and jen |
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| THE BIRTHDAY GIRLLL BRIANNE! |
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| Jenette |
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| Stacie D. ( ME) |
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| I'm navajo and so is this sheep, we're practically family. |
Later we leave and this is our food. Let me tell you ZUPA'S was delicious and this cake was delicious as well. I had quite an adventure yesterday and when I finally got home I tell you I was drained. I went straight to bed at 10:45 pm which is quite early for this girl. I tell you not to forget life's sweet fruits and all the blessings you receive...like this cake. Quite a blessing indeed. I decided to leave ya on something sweet. Eat with your eyes baby. Eat with your eyes.
love* love*love
~ Stacie D!
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| YOU'LL GET THERE EVENTUALLY TOO! |
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
*Endeavor for the Best Sweater*
Do you ever have that silly moment where you see something you like and you just go "Oh, I've got to have it," then you flip over that price tag...and it's not in your budget. Or see that it doesn't come in your size or it just isn't in stock at that time. You search all over the store for that same item and you just don't find it. You find things very similar but it's just not it and you'd be heart broken if you didn't get it.
This is how I feel about boys/ men / guys- whatever the heck they want to be called. Okay, I know guys aren't cute sweaters or a material object but you know it's the same concept. It's complicated, all of it is! It's quite exasperating really. So, in essence what I've been doing is saving up my money to buy a really good sweater who if it's cozy enough I may marry in the temple.
I just don't want to end up like those girls who buy a sweater take it home try it on, figure out they don't like it, return it then start all over again. A used sweater gets frayed and ruined going to all kinds of homes again and then one day they just end up in the thrift store all ratty torn up. I don't want to be one of these girls because they break hearts recklessly. It seems like an awful situation an impatient girl who is sick and tired of trying on sweaters and a poor heart broken guy who's been around the block a few more times than he should of. Too much damaged goods. You can just see the endless racks of sweaters in the clothes aisle a lot of them missing buttons with ruined zippers/ drawstrings. I want to find a sweater without being one of these girls who goes through sweaters like they are nothing.
Possible outcomes: The good :)
This is what I've been afraid of, being the ripped sweater who no one can fix. I want to be a well kept sweater who smells good- you know the kind that just came out of the dryer and still smells like dryer sheets. This means you have to be temple worthy and loving to find a sweater of your same aptitude- henceforth increasing your odds.
WARNING: Please, readers/ sisters/ anyone. Don't waste all yourself on a terrible sweater. This will only lead to heart break. Make sure you read the label, see the red flags. Ask yourself is this sweater worth my time? Could this sweater take me to where I want to go? Don't force fit a sweater and say it will stretch out some only do this depending on the fabric. You can't always fix a sweater, in fact some sweaters may not even want to be fixed. Don't settle...just don't. Get your money and times worth for it. Don't get desperate- desperation leads to bad purchases. When in doubt pray about it, ponder and read your scriptures. If you already have a sweater and it's not good for you, please within your power do something about it. Tell someone. GET RID OF IT.
Even if you do find a sweater that didn't exactly fit you and you put it back on the hanger and let someone else have it, I hope you know there is another sweater that will fit you better in fact- Heavenly Father designed it for you. You are beautiful and worth it.
Know there is a whole STOREFULL of sweaters!!
Don't be afraid to let go of old sweaters it may be good for you.
Old sweaters that were "okay"- even though they may itch a little- have given you experience...preparing you along the way for many other things..better things. The things that are in store will be worthwhile for you!
-The SWEATER COMMITTEE
( I will add to this someday...)
I had this sweater situation. I saw something I liked and I'm wondering if the sweater is my size within my budget and worth the trouble. I can't say exactly what this sweater looked like but let me say, it was a very nice sweater. My question is, how do I get the sweater? What if this sweater would fit much better on other girls? Would I even like the sweater still after I bought it and saw the care label?
All I can do is look in my closet ( very empty closet in this case) and try and see what fit me best and what I liked most. Eugh, but looking into my closet I find some really yucky stuff. As I sift through those I hope to find an extra hanger for this new sweater. Wish me luck on this endeavor for the best sweater. Oh and if you are looking too, I wish you luck for your endeavor for the best sweater!
*love* love* love*
~Stacie D.
You'll get there eventually too!
This is how I feel about boys/ men / guys- whatever the heck they want to be called. Okay, I know guys aren't cute sweaters or a material object but you know it's the same concept. It's complicated, all of it is! It's quite exasperating really. So, in essence what I've been doing is saving up my money to buy a really good sweater who if it's cozy enough I may marry in the temple.
I just don't want to end up like those girls who buy a sweater take it home try it on, figure out they don't like it, return it then start all over again. A used sweater gets frayed and ruined going to all kinds of homes again and then one day they just end up in the thrift store all ratty torn up. I don't want to be one of these girls because they break hearts recklessly. It seems like an awful situation an impatient girl who is sick and tired of trying on sweaters and a poor heart broken guy who's been around the block a few more times than he should of. Too much damaged goods. You can just see the endless racks of sweaters in the clothes aisle a lot of them missing buttons with ruined zippers/ drawstrings. I want to find a sweater without being one of these girls who goes through sweaters like they are nothing.
Possible outcomes: The good :)
- Best scenario the sweater finds a home with a stylish girl who loves it patches up the holes and wears it again.
- Good- smells good and fits
- Was everything you were expecting
- Fits your entire family
- Worst scenario...you become the ripped sweater.
- Shoppers remorse ( it looked better in the store)
- Label is wrong ( extra things you weren't expecting like say...issues)
- You thought it was wool but its actually steel wool ( mean and nasty- not for anyone)
- The sweater was 50 dollars more than you expected then rips the next day.
WARNING: Please, readers/ sisters/ anyone. Don't waste all yourself on a terrible sweater. This will only lead to heart break. Make sure you read the label, see the red flags. Ask yourself is this sweater worth my time? Could this sweater take me to where I want to go? Don't force fit a sweater and say it will stretch out some only do this depending on the fabric. You can't always fix a sweater, in fact some sweaters may not even want to be fixed. Don't settle...just don't. Get your money and times worth for it. Don't get desperate- desperation leads to bad purchases. When in doubt pray about it, ponder and read your scriptures. If you already have a sweater and it's not good for you, please within your power do something about it. Tell someone. GET RID OF IT.
Even if you do find a sweater that didn't exactly fit you and you put it back on the hanger and let someone else have it, I hope you know there is another sweater that will fit you better in fact- Heavenly Father designed it for you. You are beautiful and worth it.
Know there is a whole STOREFULL of sweaters!!
Don't be afraid to let go of old sweaters it may be good for you.
Old sweaters that were "okay"- even though they may itch a little- have given you experience...preparing you along the way for many other things..better things. The things that are in store will be worthwhile for you!
-The SWEATER COMMITTEE
( I will add to this someday...)
I had this sweater situation. I saw something I liked and I'm wondering if the sweater is my size within my budget and worth the trouble. I can't say exactly what this sweater looked like but let me say, it was a very nice sweater. My question is, how do I get the sweater? What if this sweater would fit much better on other girls? Would I even like the sweater still after I bought it and saw the care label?
All I can do is look in my closet ( very empty closet in this case) and try and see what fit me best and what I liked most. Eugh, but looking into my closet I find some really yucky stuff. As I sift through those I hope to find an extra hanger for this new sweater. Wish me luck on this endeavor for the best sweater. Oh and if you are looking too, I wish you luck for your endeavor for the best sweater!
*love* love* love*
~Stacie D.
Monday, June 4, 2012
Issues with Small Talk.
Scottsdale, Madrid, Canvas, Tweed, Vinyl, Camo, Laminate Velor, Neoprene, Zebra Print Velor...
This is what I do...for four hours a day. I go through these nine seat cover types and string them together box them and send them out. I didn't think I'd get tired of it it, but eventually I just have a permanently furrowed brow. People ask me why I'm shy and I have no idea why. I'm not shy. Not really at all. I'm in a place full of people older than me and I just rather wouldn't talk to them about my life. They don't seem to understand that though.
I don't really like making small talk..in general.
This is what I do...for four hours a day. I go through these nine seat cover types and string them together box them and send them out. I didn't think I'd get tired of it it, but eventually I just have a permanently furrowed brow. People ask me why I'm shy and I have no idea why. I'm not shy. Not really at all. I'm in a place full of people older than me and I just rather wouldn't talk to them about my life. They don't seem to understand that though.
I don't really like making small talk..in general.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
So, I kinda got a job :)/ I love Clutter...
I finally got a job by the good graces of my friend Brianne's mom and herself! I work at seat covers plus! It's temporary but nevertheless it's a job. I actually like working it gives me something to think of other than worry all day about things that don't matter, and I actually get things done. :)
That's a big plus for me...getting things done. As of late I've been trying to have a more positive attitude and I think it's coming along quite swimmingly. I'm often content to just complain ALL the time about everything and anything. It became so bad it was to the point to where when my friends and I were together I'd just try and top their complaints. A contest to see who had it worse.
Things are better now though. :)
I'm trying to improve myself so that's a starting point. Hahah. I really thought I would blog more about this summer but I haven't found anything really to blog about. I could tell you all about my week and all.
Monday: I went to work and yeah...headed off to Home Evening ( it's a church event for LDS singles who supposedly don't live with their families but really do.)
There we ate in this kick butt barn which was so beautiful, it was rustic and cluttered...ps. I love clutter ORGANIZED CLUTTER. The things within that barn told lots and lots of stories it was pretty much filled with amazing antiques. For example I saw an old fashioned washer with a ringer on the top of it. The whole barn was carpeted and the beams above us didn't even have any spider webs. I want to live there. Maybe I should start taking pictures....Anyways we listened to a retired SECRET SERVICE man who protected President Nixon and Regan among many other presidents I wasn't alive to see. Oh lest I forget amazing swing in the top of the barn with plasma cars look it up. its worth it.
Tuesday: I GOT MARRIED! No, actually I just went and talked to a store manager about getting hired at Vanity.
Wednesday: I cleaned bathrooms....ewwwww....
Thursday...is today and is yet to be written. So tune in again soon if you find my life interesting at all. PAHAHAHA.
Love love love
Stacie Denetsosie
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Out of Order
Once upon a time there was this little girl named Stacie who wanted a job. Naturally, as told, she went and found lots and lots of places to fill out applications for. She grew tired of filling out her information which always included the address of a reference who was paranoid and didn't want her address written. Anyways, this girl had a job interview today and what can I say... it was like being fed to the cheery sharks that want to sell you pants. Yes, I tried to get a job at Vanity because it seemed really not intimidating to me.
The girls there were well rehearsed and all I did was dress cute. So, with wishful thinking I hope they call. Oh man these last couple of days have been nothing but unexpected. I think that's what you find when you pray...sometimes they are answered at the weirdest times.
Back to the subject of jobs, Friday I had an interview at Charlie's Ice Cream, you know if I get the job there I get to wear an apron and a denim cap with my name embroidered into it, yeah that means you're gonna work somewhere classy, now done'nt? I was sitting in my car with my head on my steering wheel when I said "cant anyone just give a poor navajo girl a job?" Then I got the call from the Charlie's lady asking if I could come in at three fifteen. Enthusiastically I say yes and meet her there. Now when I meet this woman she's kind of scary her manner of being was just scary and I mean unapproachable. Long story short I pulled a bug out of her hair and she dropped my application in a puddle of melted icecream. Pretty much this job thing of mine is turning out to be a charmer. Oh yeah.
Anyways now onto other things cynical eighteen year old girls like me do. I went to play games with my ward on Sunday night at some kids house in my ward. So I go. I get annoyed. I reached the conclusion that I just don't get along with guys this week. Man, I wish I was korean right now.
okay...I'm off my rocker I'm aware.
Have I ever told you my life plan. I don't believe I have so here it goes.
One day I will be professional writer who writes best selling books and crap, my fans will get so rabid that they are contsantly baraging my door. I'll be at least twenty five, six, seven, allah forbid eight. Anyways I want to have at least written and published a book before I'm thirty. Back to the story, crazy fans, to escape my crazy fans I will move into the Wasatch mountains into a rustic cabin with a porch and each day I will drink apple cider in the morning air and write. I will stay in the mountains until I'm almost fifty. I will have reached my prime by then and will move to California, I will have written my fifteenth novel and be exceedingly rich. So while in Cali I will be surfing one early morning on a semi cloudy day and the misty waves will tousle my crazy long silvery hair and I'll see him. An attractive twenty five year old Ryan Reynolds look alike, he'll obviously be smitten and marry me for my money. We'll get married buy a circle shaped house with a hole in the middle with glass all within the middle so we can see our giraffe "Kevin" munch on the forest we've planted for him. Then I'll gradually grow old with my Ryan Reynolds look alike then one day I'll die. I will leave all my fortune to Kevin and my husband won't get a cent.
It's a dream. I tell you.
Anyways...I guess that's enough for today.
hahahah
-stacie
The girls there were well rehearsed and all I did was dress cute. So, with wishful thinking I hope they call. Oh man these last couple of days have been nothing but unexpected. I think that's what you find when you pray...sometimes they are answered at the weirdest times.
Back to the subject of jobs, Friday I had an interview at Charlie's Ice Cream, you know if I get the job there I get to wear an apron and a denim cap with my name embroidered into it, yeah that means you're gonna work somewhere classy, now done'nt? I was sitting in my car with my head on my steering wheel when I said "cant anyone just give a poor navajo girl a job?" Then I got the call from the Charlie's lady asking if I could come in at three fifteen. Enthusiastically I say yes and meet her there. Now when I meet this woman she's kind of scary her manner of being was just scary and I mean unapproachable. Long story short I pulled a bug out of her hair and she dropped my application in a puddle of melted icecream. Pretty much this job thing of mine is turning out to be a charmer. Oh yeah.
Anyways now onto other things cynical eighteen year old girls like me do. I went to play games with my ward on Sunday night at some kids house in my ward. So I go. I get annoyed. I reached the conclusion that I just don't get along with guys this week. Man, I wish I was korean right now.
okay...I'm off my rocker I'm aware.
Have I ever told you my life plan. I don't believe I have so here it goes.
One day I will be professional writer who writes best selling books and crap, my fans will get so rabid that they are contsantly baraging my door. I'll be at least twenty five, six, seven, allah forbid eight. Anyways I want to have at least written and published a book before I'm thirty. Back to the story, crazy fans, to escape my crazy fans I will move into the Wasatch mountains into a rustic cabin with a porch and each day I will drink apple cider in the morning air and write. I will stay in the mountains until I'm almost fifty. I will have reached my prime by then and will move to California, I will have written my fifteenth novel and be exceedingly rich. So while in Cali I will be surfing one early morning on a semi cloudy day and the misty waves will tousle my crazy long silvery hair and I'll see him. An attractive twenty five year old Ryan Reynolds look alike, he'll obviously be smitten and marry me for my money. We'll get married buy a circle shaped house with a hole in the middle with glass all within the middle so we can see our giraffe "Kevin" munch on the forest we've planted for him. Then I'll gradually grow old with my Ryan Reynolds look alike then one day I'll die. I will leave all my fortune to Kevin and my husband won't get a cent.
It's a dream. I tell you.
Anyways...I guess that's enough for today.
hahahah
-stacie
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
I just don't care anymore
I have an exam in the next two hours and guess how long ago I studied...about two days ago. I lost all motivation to care and I'm content just to do whatever I wish. Right now that's playing too much ping pong, wrestling my friends to the ground and eating way too much.
I'm a lazy bum. I want to be done with school now, but I have until friday until I can enjoy my summer which is slightly annoying. I just want to play with my friends go on adventures and do what I want. I'm not really thinking about what I'm typing I'm just typing it. Man I should really read more notes about Ecology. Did you know in each meal or whatever we lose an amount of energy er..trophic level or something and so it would be smarter to be a vegetarian because then there would be less energy lost. Nice to learn something huh? Yeah I think that's called recall. Man, I'm on a roll today. Wellp. enjoy your life.
I'm a lazy bum. I want to be done with school now, but I have until friday until I can enjoy my summer which is slightly annoying. I just want to play with my friends go on adventures and do what I want. I'm not really thinking about what I'm typing I'm just typing it. Man I should really read more notes about Ecology. Did you know in each meal or whatever we lose an amount of energy er..trophic level or something and so it would be smarter to be a vegetarian because then there would be less energy lost. Nice to learn something huh? Yeah I think that's called recall. Man, I'm on a roll today. Wellp. enjoy your life.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Almost done
I'm entering my final week of school until I can own my summer. Right now I'm sitting awaiting three o clock to write a probably dreadfully boring essay that I spent the last two hours stressing over, it's still a pretty weak argument but it's something. I think of what I was doing last semester at this time...freaking out over a guy and possibilities that aren't ever possibilities but minor infatuations. I do feel older, college, life, experiences have done that for me and I feel some distain for some of the choices that I've made but not any major regrets, depending on the day though. Where do you measure regrets and what exactly does it mean? Hahah, I have no idea.
I'm clinging to my swing and snow cone but can see that sunny horizon of my future so near by. I can taste the future and the promise of a lovely summer. I'll surely be blogging more around that time, with so many friends coming home and plans to be made.
So far Brianne and Jenette and I want to do these things:
I wish you a balmy amazing summer filled with adventures and the rush of youth that I don't think you ever lose. Something always makes you feel youthful. Not that I would know just yet, but I'll get there eventually.
I'm clinging to my swing and snow cone but can see that sunny horizon of my future so near by. I can taste the future and the promise of a lovely summer. I'll surely be blogging more around that time, with so many friends coming home and plans to be made.
So far Brianne and Jenette and I want to do these things:
- Be ambitious
- Have a garden
- Sleep under the stars
- Have crazy campfires
- Find a puppy
- Go to the fields more
- Find a puppy
- Fall in love..
I wish you a balmy amazing summer filled with adventures and the rush of youth that I don't think you ever lose. Something always makes you feel youthful. Not that I would know just yet, but I'll get there eventually.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Fwend :)
I have wonderful friends in fact they are the most beautiful examples of friendship I have ever known on my eighteen years on this earth. My two very best friends in this world are Brianne and Jenette. We've shared many memories together like the time I peed on the playground (i was sixteen) and the time we almost got run over at the beginning of this year. It surprises me constantly that throughout all of that they would still stick around with me.
Yesterday, we all happened to be having not so good rotten days...severely rotten. So, to solve this severely rotten no good of a day we found a kite. I set up our dinky little bumble bee kite and went outside to try to fly it and the first thirty attempts were a flop. The wind just wasn't strong enough and we weren't in the right place...it just wasn't working out. My friends suggested that I run with the kite but I ended up just dragging it. The kite reminded me of myself. My poor little weathered one dollar two year old plastic bumble bee kite. Things just weren't going right for it somethings just happened to be off like the direction of the wind. There was a reason it just wasn't flying. Then I handed the kite to Brianne to try and fly and once again it just wouldn't fly and Brianne being a determined girl was running racing laps around her yard trying to get it to go. It was a real sight, it was Brianne in a cute weaved top and soffees, barefoot screaming at the kite to fly. It was just plain funny.
Jenette then decided to take the kite atop the swing sets connected slide, which is about six feet up from the ground. There Bumble Bee caught a wind current and he flew. It was a beautiful sight seeing our little dinky kite flying around with the gulls. All it took for this kite was a change of circumstances, a minor change in height and altitude. Sometimes the only place to go for upliftment is up. The altitude will determine our attitude. Then eventually you can fly on your own, without any help from the ground.
C'mon let's be kites.
fLY.
Friday, March 16, 2012
Life has a funny way of telling you it loves you, it truly does. Oh man, it's kind of hilarious really. I just participated in a funeral for a rooster today. This rooster wasn't just any rooster, it was my little brother's rooster. This rooster was an award winning chicken and my brother loved that animal so much. This rooster had a name, Jake and Jake spent every evening with my brother on the couch as my brother fed him sunflower seeds. Oh-that's friendship right there. We buried Jake this morning in an old converse shoe box underneath my little brother's tree house. And this gloomy morning didn't do much for my little brother's cheer.
Life has a funny way of telling you it loves you, because up until then my brother and I weren't getting along. Seeing my thirteen year old brother so broken up about his rooster just softened something in my stinking eighteen year old heart and I hugged him. I don't really hug my brother. I don't know why..I just don't.
Sometimes it's silly the things that snap you back to reality and you realize how much you love things and the things that love you. I experienced some really hard blows in life and maybe someday I'll divulge them but for now, I'll leave them unwritten. These things we experience now make us stronger. No matter how much they hurt, I'm not talking about Jake anymore, I'm talking about everything. You'll lose love, you'll lose people, chances and that's just some among others but you always get something out of it. A lesson learned.
You know this can't be all about a chicken, it also is about family. I've lost family, really close family and after that sort of thing it's really hard not to stay angry. It's really hard not to dwell on the should of been s and the coulda been s and this is in any situation. After such a strong storm within you it's so nice to feel the calm after, the peace that just sinks in and feeling all that clarity.
I'm feeling that clarity now. They're some pretty hard lenses to look out of, hurts my eyes. I'm stronger though, that clarity will build you up. And the measures you take to build yourself will prepare you with a stronger foundation. Keep praying and keep dreaming. Then maybe someday, someday soon you can go fishing in a puddle with your friends or family. You learn to move on and live day by day feeling and seeing beautiful things that you just oughta capture. If I can be silly and happy today after my many obstacles I believe you too, my little brother, friend, reader, whoever...can too.
LOVE LOVE LOVE
Life has a funny way of telling you it loves you, because up until then my brother and I weren't getting along. Seeing my thirteen year old brother so broken up about his rooster just softened something in my stinking eighteen year old heart and I hugged him. I don't really hug my brother. I don't know why..I just don't.
Sometimes it's silly the things that snap you back to reality and you realize how much you love things and the things that love you. I experienced some really hard blows in life and maybe someday I'll divulge them but for now, I'll leave them unwritten. These things we experience now make us stronger. No matter how much they hurt, I'm not talking about Jake anymore, I'm talking about everything. You'll lose love, you'll lose people, chances and that's just some among others but you always get something out of it. A lesson learned.
You know this can't be all about a chicken, it also is about family. I've lost family, really close family and after that sort of thing it's really hard not to stay angry. It's really hard not to dwell on the should of been s and the coulda been s and this is in any situation. After such a strong storm within you it's so nice to feel the calm after, the peace that just sinks in and feeling all that clarity.
I'm feeling that clarity now. They're some pretty hard lenses to look out of, hurts my eyes. I'm stronger though, that clarity will build you up. And the measures you take to build yourself will prepare you with a stronger foundation. Keep praying and keep dreaming. Then maybe someday, someday soon you can go fishing in a puddle with your friends or family. You learn to move on and live day by day feeling and seeing beautiful things that you just oughta capture. If I can be silly and happy today after my many obstacles I believe you too, my little brother, friend, reader, whoever...can too.
LOVE LOVE LOVE
SSD
*in memory of Jake, little brother's best friend, may your wings learn to fly in heaven little buddy*
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Lessons from Lemons
My cousin used to lick a lemon and say "Stacie it tastes lucky." I would nod then lick my own lemon repeating the same phrase back to him "Colton, it does taste lucky. What Colton was meaning though was that the lemon tasted sour-luck to him =sour. To this four year old boy, sour was luck and luck was sour. We'd get excited to eat lemons and taste how lucky a lemon was that was until he got older and lemons were no longer lucky they were just sour.
My question is how do we go back to a more innocent time where lemons were lucky? You know the phrase if life gives you lemons then make lemonade? Yes, I know I am dwelling on a lemon but how do I convert my lemon into luck? As of late I get a lot of lemons and although I love lemons the taste of one lemon is enough to satiate my desire for the day. I can't seem to convert my sour lemons into something lucky like8 lemonade. I realized when I get my lemons I hide them, I'll group them into fours and hide them, the fruit basket effect.
By lemons I mean problems and by problems I mean I laundry list my problems/unfortunate events to a point where I wallow, which is silly, I don't mean to appear as melodramatic as I sound.
So I ask myself these questions...Is there anything at all I can do about this situation? I can pray about it and see what the big man upstairs has to say or I can wallow like a walrus. I'd rather not be a walrus. I could also talk to people about my lemons and see how they make lemonade, but I can't talk to everyone one on my contacts list about it or I'll lose my answer in the problem by not listening to the right council. Don't get me wrong talking out your problems could be one of the biggest answers, sometimes it's nice to have a sweet empathizing listening ear. Just don't get more ears than you can handle because that means you are talking more than listening. Charlie Brown once said we have two ears and one mouth for a reason, listening is more important than talking. I agree with that, meaning we need to listen and lately I haven't been listening real well. I've been talking and once I shut up I saw that my lemons were actually lucky because my lemons had taught me something. I've learned valuable lessons from lemons. And although my lemons were still sour to the taste with a little sugar and luck already inside...life still tastes pretty darn good.
Well...if that made any sense at all I hope you understood, or just thought I was crazy..either way.
Learn to love your lemons because with some grapes you can make some sweet pink lemonade
love*love*love*
~SSD
My question is how do we go back to a more innocent time where lemons were lucky? You know the phrase if life gives you lemons then make lemonade? Yes, I know I am dwelling on a lemon but how do I convert my lemon into luck? As of late I get a lot of lemons and although I love lemons the taste of one lemon is enough to satiate my desire for the day. I can't seem to convert my sour lemons into something lucky like8 lemonade. I realized when I get my lemons I hide them, I'll group them into fours and hide them, the fruit basket effect.
By lemons I mean problems and by problems I mean I laundry list my problems/unfortunate events to a point where I wallow, which is silly, I don't mean to appear as melodramatic as I sound.
So I ask myself these questions...Is there anything at all I can do about this situation? I can pray about it and see what the big man upstairs has to say or I can wallow like a walrus. I'd rather not be a walrus. I could also talk to people about my lemons and see how they make lemonade, but I can't talk to everyone one on my contacts list about it or I'll lose my answer in the problem by not listening to the right council. Don't get me wrong talking out your problems could be one of the biggest answers, sometimes it's nice to have a sweet empathizing listening ear. Just don't get more ears than you can handle because that means you are talking more than listening. Charlie Brown once said we have two ears and one mouth for a reason, listening is more important than talking. I agree with that, meaning we need to listen and lately I haven't been listening real well. I've been talking and once I shut up I saw that my lemons were actually lucky because my lemons had taught me something. I've learned valuable lessons from lemons. And although my lemons were still sour to the taste with a little sugar and luck already inside...life still tastes pretty darn good.
Well...if that made any sense at all I hope you understood, or just thought I was crazy..either way.
Learn to love your lemons because with some grapes you can make some sweet pink lemonade
love*love*love*
~SSD
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