Fwend :)

I have wonderful friends in fact they are the most beautiful examples of friendship I have ever known on my eighteen years on this earth. My two very best friends in this world are Brianne and Jenette. We've shared many memories together like the time I peed on the playground (i was sixteen) and the time we almost got run over at the beginning of this year. It surprises me constantly that throughout all of that they would still stick around with me.

Yesterday, we all happened to be having not so good rotten days...severely rotten. So, to solve this severely rotten no good of a day we found a kite. I set up our dinky little bumble bee kite and went outside to try to fly it and the first thirty attempts were a flop. The wind just wasn't strong enough and we weren't in the right place...it just wasn't working out. My friends suggested that I run with the kite but I ended up just dragging it. The kite reminded me of myself. My poor little weathered one dollar two year old plastic bumble bee kite. Things just weren't going right for it somethings just happened to be off like the direction of the wind. There was a reason it just wasn't flying. Then I handed the kite to Brianne to try and fly and once again it just wouldn't fly and Brianne being a determined girl was running racing laps around her yard trying to get it to go. It was a real sight, it was Brianne in a cute weaved top and soffees, barefoot screaming at the kite to fly. It was just plain funny.

Jenette then decided to take the kite atop the swing sets connected slide, which is about six feet up from the ground. There Bumble Bee caught a wind current and he flew. It was a beautiful sight seeing our little dinky kite flying around with the gulls. All it took for this kite was a change of circumstances, a minor change in height and altitude. Sometimes the only place to go for upliftment is up. The altitude will determine our attitude. Then eventually you can fly on your own, without any help from the ground.

C'mon let's be kites.

fLY.

 

Life has a funny way of telling you it loves you, it truly does. Oh man, it's kind of hilarious really. I just participated in a funeral for a rooster today. This rooster wasn't just any rooster, it was my little brother's rooster. This rooster was an award winning chicken and my brother loved that animal so much.  This rooster had a name, Jake and Jake spent every evening with my brother on the couch as my brother fed him sunflower seeds. Oh-that's friendship right there. We buried Jake this morning in an old converse shoe box underneath my little brother's tree house. And this gloomy morning didn't do much for my little brother's cheer. 
Life has a funny way of telling you it loves you, because up until then my brother and I weren't getting along. Seeing my thirteen year old brother so broken up about his rooster just softened something in my stinking eighteen year old heart and I hugged him. I don't really hug my brother. I don't know why..I just don't.
Sometimes it's silly the things that snap you back to reality and you realize how much you love things and the things that love you. I experienced some really hard blows in life and maybe someday I'll divulge them but for now, I'll leave them unwritten. These things we experience now make us stronger. No matter how much they hurt, I'm not talking about Jake anymore, I'm talking about everything. You'll lose love, you'll lose people, chances and that's just some among others but you always get something out of it. A lesson learned. 
You know this can't be all about a chicken, it also is about family. I've lost family, really close family and after that sort of thing it's really hard not to stay angry. It's really hard not to dwell on the should of been s and the coulda been s and this is in any situation. After such a strong storm within you it's so nice to feel the calm after, the peace that just sinks in and feeling all that clarity. 
I'm feeling that clarity now. They're some pretty hard lenses to look out of, hurts my eyes. I'm stronger though, that clarity will build you up. And the measures you take to build yourself will prepare you with a stronger foundation. Keep praying and keep dreaming. Then maybe someday, someday soon you can go fishing in a puddle with your friends or family. You learn to move on and live day by day feeling and seeing beautiful things that you just oughta capture. If I can be silly and happy today after my many obstacles I believe you too, my little brother, friend, reader, whoever...can too.
LOVE LOVE LOVE

SSD

*in memory of Jake, little brother's best friend, may your wings learn to fly in heaven little buddy*

Lessons from Lemons

My cousin used to lick a lemon and say "Stacie it tastes lucky." I would nod then lick my own lemon repeating the same phrase back to him "Colton, it does taste lucky. What Colton was meaning though was that the lemon tasted sour-luck to him =sour. To this four year old boy, sour was luck and luck was sour. We'd get excited to eat lemons and taste how lucky a lemon was that was until he got older and lemons were no longer lucky they were just sour.
My question is how do we go back to a more innocent time where lemons were lucky? You know the phrase if life gives you lemons then make lemonade? Yes, I know I am dwelling on a lemon but how do I convert my lemon into luck? As of late I get a lot of lemons and although I love lemons the taste of one lemon is enough to satiate my desire for the day. I can't seem to convert my sour lemons into something lucky like8 lemonade. I realized when I get my lemons I hide them, I'll group them into fours and hide them, the fruit basket effect.
By lemons I mean problems and by problems I mean I laundry list my problems/unfortunate events to a point where I wallow, which is silly, I don't mean to appear as melodramatic as I sound.
So I ask myself these questions...Is there anything at all I can do about this situation? I can pray about it and see what the big man upstairs has to say or I can wallow like a walrus. I'd rather not be a walrus. I could also talk to people about my lemons and see how they make lemonade, but I can't talk to everyone one on my contacts list about it or I'll lose my answer in the problem by not listening to the right council. Don't get me wrong talking out your problems could be one of the biggest answers, sometimes it's nice to have a sweet empathizing listening ear. Just don't get more ears than you can handle because that means you are talking more than listening. Charlie Brown once said we have two ears and one mouth for a reason, listening is more important than talking. I agree with that, meaning we need to listen and lately I haven't been listening real well. I've been talking and once I shut up I saw that my lemons were actually lucky because my lemons had taught me something. I've learned valuable lessons from lemons. And although my lemons were still sour to the taste with a little sugar and luck already inside...life still tastes pretty darn good.
Well...if that made any sense at all I hope you understood, or just thought I was crazy..either way.
Learn to love your lemons because with some grapes you can make some sweet pink lemonade
love*love*love*
~SSD

Every time I think of life I think of a road. It's really silly, isn't it. My analogies to roads...but honestly I can't think of anyway to think of life. It's a winding road filled with signs, beautiful scenery, sometimes really unpleasant things too. Lately I've been thinking that the road before me just isn't paved. It's one of those dirt roads with pot holes barely skimmed over with gravel or a road that hasn't been paved, making you the first to make the marks. 
I think that's what you get when you are the oldest child of two ( my brother and I) you get to figure out everything yourself. No older brothers or sisters to tell you what to expect or what's next, it's up to me. There is so much responsibility there, to make sure everything is going right, praying/hoping that you can just get there and do it right.
I've been wrong a lot lately the silly thing is that I thought I knew what was going on. I'm such a chicken, I don't take risks. I'd like to think that I wear my heart on my sleeve, but nope. 
Growing up is a lot harder than I expected-it's a real journey. Probably the best adventure I could ever have. Oh my goodness. If anyone reads this know this- I am strange. Might not sound strange, but I AM. Hear my story and you will be surprised because there is not anyone you cannot love until you've known what they've been through. Miles and miles, many the miles and back...good luck on your travels and wish me luck on mine. 
LOVE LOVE LOVE
STACIE.