"Are you sweet on him?" They ask with hushed voices. I purse my lips trying to smother the smile that seems to be spreading despite my efforts. " Come on you can tell us." A cool breeze sweeps over my face, I can almost taste the faint smell of the lake down below. I glance past all the faces and the warm glow to the fire. The moon hangs low in the sky, illuminating the water below, it's actually quite lovely.
I can't seem to concentrate on the little dazzling moon specs on the water, because there are eyes here staring me in the face. "Come on you can tell us." says one of the girls I am not particularly fond of.
I duck my head down because I can feel the furious blush come on. It's dark so I'm safe, for tonight at least. "If you don't say anything, we'll just tell him you do." threatens my friend.
"I'm not sure about it." I answer, the words sounding like desperate gasps for air.I can see it in the eyes of the girls my answer was clearly lack luster.
You see since I started going to the ward I had encountered many difficulties and this seemed to be one of them. I was relatively experienced in the dating field. Leaving me feeling vulnerable and mostly clueless. Very Clueless. I hadn't noticed that I was completely clueless until a certain gentleman asked me for my number and I just laughed at him for it. Until I realized he was dead serious. Oh, and that ended most spectacularly.
So, now, sitting in a beautiful cabin on a retreat with my ward I was most vulnerable. Not only because that particular person who plagued me was here but the fact that knew I wouldn't be able to hide from my ward anymore. Even my closets friends were starting realize that something was off about me. They certainly asked, but I couldn't tell them. Not just yet. Not until I was sure how I felt about everything.
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