Still Up.

Its one thirty. I have an exam tomorrow, its kind of a problem that I'm still up. I'm imagining crisp blue skies and hard packed golden earth below me. I'm getting the opposite effect though here, where its all snowy and such. I've been digging through the trunk in my head and finding the stuff with the dust on it. I hate the stuff on top...like stratigraphy because it's the freshest and it hurts the most. I've been discussing it with friends and trying to make sense of the things that have been bothering me lately. I miss the summer heat and the joy of it but I'd rather not go back. I have exams tomorrow and have been finding that I cannot focus when i have so much hexing me. Ha, oh my I feel like a case. BASKET CASE...Sarah Bariellies or whatever look it up. I have so much to do and my brain is functioning on a ticking bomb of mountain dew fueled energy. I hope things turn out well because there is only so much that my headlights can cover. Well. yep.

SPEED LIMIT 30

So the speed limit on a road that I drive up and down to USU and home has changed. It used to be thirty five but now its thirty, with going five over I guess that's not really a huge change. It slows everything down a bit and takes another two or three minutes to get to class on time. That's not really the point though, haha, the point is sometimes we forget to slow down and see everything passing us by and it's not until we see that sign that tells us to slow down. Okay, you have to admit that at first you are annoyed that they slowed the speed down and secondly you want to just go over and see who notices but your conscience tells you otherwise. Point is I slowed down and I'm seeing things that I didn't really see before...like deer and people riding bikes and making really funny faces. I'm still a sour mean old person but I need to lighten up and slow down.

As I get further along I'm starting to see it all...

Oh my good-ness, yes I had to break it up like that. I have to explain just how much different college is than I imagined it would be...it's big, it's fast, it's exciting and so easy to get lost in. Not that I get lost any more but you know in the figurative way. All my classes are in full swing and I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and I am cheering for it. Registration for freshman classes for next semester was yesterday, the site was down for roughly four hours. At least that's what facebook says. I'm loving school, yet I'm hating it. I still don't feel completely myself sometimes and that worries me. It's nearly been an entire semester and I still don't feel completely at ease with everything. I like my classes on certain days, It's really easy to get in a slump of OH I HATE MY LIFE. It's really not that bad, it's a point of perspective. 

I like seeing my friends that's nice, I've gotten to know some of them a lot better like knowing what to expect when you're around them and such. I'm working on forgiving people I find that I carry laundry lists of angry things I'm mad about, I need to dump that stenchy laundry in the washer and forget about it all together. I still don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life, I'll get there...eventually. 

Mostly though, I don't want to give up hope. It's so easy to be a pessimist in a world full of angry people and if singing Disney songs and laughing really loud is the only way to keep you happy then do it. I by far don't know everything but I know if I keep a smile on my face things will get better. Maybe I'll be on the shuttle up to the school and I'll meet a stranger who is having a rough day and maybe my smile will make them feel better then they will give a dollar to a hobo or something. I don't know haha, I just know that keep in good company and things will look up. Pay attention in class, don't fall asleep. Sing a song, laugh, eat (but not too much), dance, write, pray, and look up. Head up. That's what I oughtta do. 

Okay..I think that's all i wanted to say. Pahaha! Take care of the luck you may have if you have any luck care for it!!! 

*love *love *love,

Stacie

Meh.

The sky was a slate grey watery on the very edges of the clouds. She had sat around her house long enough feeling like a bum. Earlier today she had attended school and in the most fortutious of ways she was there for only the last fifteen minutes of class. She had driven up on camups only to be blocked by the hundreds of college pedestirans who didn't know how to cross the street a skill learned in kindergarten. She nearly hit a person on a scooter who had refused to look both ways and under her breath she kept muttering " I hate college, I hate the people here, I hate this place, I hate it." She nearly wanted to smash her head against the steering wheel but refused to do so out of risk of hitting an actual person. She didn't want to be there this morning she wanted to go home and sleep somemore or feel like herself again. At that moment she felt like an elastic stretched too far and ready to snap anyone near by.
She tried to park in the NFS parking lot and soon realized that the lot was full. She checked the clock 9:30 her class started now. So she zoomed her car foreward the wheels clunking in the back. She cursed her entire way down the hill and into the parking lot. She rushed to the bus and it set off with her inside. First stop. Not mine. Second stop, Not mine. Third Stop...mine. Wait there was no third stop so that bus looped her around the campus again henceforth making her fifteen minutes late for class.
When she finally got to class she hopped over the seat to sit next to her friend and nearly was prepared to cry. THIS IS WHY TODAY WAS MEH.
Then she hated all the people in the world and wanted to cry. Then she thought about people and wanted to cry. Then her friend visited her and made everything all better. She hung out with them and gradually her strength returned and she took her sorry behind to her last class and lived mopely ever after.

Oh the joys of College!

Dear World,
I have started college. It is officially three days in and it feels like I have been here for months. I've seen my friends nearly everyday, yet I do not feel like I've seen them enough. I miss my high school on occasion and I'm super duper dramatic. I fret about random things such as...OH MY GOODNESS WHAT SHOULD I DO? SHOULD I GET A FIVE SUBJECT NOTEBOOK OR FIVE SEPARATE ONE SUBJECT NOTEBOOKS FOR ALL MY CLASSES? I have harassed my Auntie's phones and left crazy messages on my fear of college.
Other than the awful parking pass that cost me fifty bucks and is completely useless if I don't get up on campus early and the gaps between my classes and my two mile walk back to my car..I am doing alright. I will be optimisic! DARN IT! I WILL! I WILL BE INVOLVED I WILL STUDY AND I WILL DO A GREAT JOB AND BE AN AWESOME STUDENT IN COLLEG IF MY NAME ISN'T STACIE SHANNON DENETSOSIE!
Alas, I am still a child in college though. The experience so far is exciting yet worrying me...academically I am more concerned. With all these books that I've invested fivehundred dollars in how will I nearly have enough time to read them all. Oh goodness.
 Someone please tell them who the heck I is it's your sister Stacie Manji I make my rules up, back the books up huh! Well other than undergoing a complete reality insanity check..I guess I'm perfectly fine.
Love,
Stacie Shannon Denetsosie

A taste of Bliss..I mean Cliffs

I've been home since ten today, it is now nine thirty seven. Ah, I had the greatest time though, my YSA ward went on a retreat to Bear Lake and may I say it was brilliant. I packed three sleeping bags and a mat I thought we were staying in a stinky old cabin on the side of the beach that looked like a turd. Instead, I was mistaken entirely, I stayed in a fully furnished cabin that was air conditioned. Oh my goodness this cabin was beautifully rustic. The deck of the cabin outlooked onto Bear Lake creating a picturesque place to stay. As for the rooms, very very lovely. The cabin looked like somewhere where famous people stay! The grass was a lush green and the door was a thick oak with a sturdily crafted metal handle. Anyways, the cabin was very very very cool. What makes it even better is that I stayed in that cabin with my friends. Ah, Bri and Jen can always make a day better! I don't know what I'd do without them...they are so good to me. First thing we did when we got to the cabin though was race through it admiring all the fancy things then we searched for the best room and claimed it for ourselves. We didn't waste a minute lugging our bags down the stairs into cozy room. Then we went onto admire the rest of the Cabin...then it was time to go to Bloomingdale Lake. Brianne&Jenette and I searched for a car to go down to the lake in. All the cars were jammed packed. So we settled on taking Bri's. Little did we know was that the roads were terrible and muddy and easily could high center the car, luckily that didn't happen. A few bumps and scratched claimed Bri's poor cute red Honda Civic and after being lost for nearly two hours our leaders (chaperones) found their way. After a small discussion with one of our leaders about the condition of the roads and the damage they were inflicting on the Civic we crammed into a truck and easily went down the road.

Once at the Lake, I admired its teal blue waters and  dark black white streaked cliffs. I watched in awe as a person jumped straight off the cliff into the water sending up a small splash. Bri and Jen wasted no time in getting to the cliffs. I stumbled on right after them as they climbed up the rocks that lead to the cliffs. Memo to self never wear pink Crocs rock climbing. I watched as they both dove into the blue waters no hesitation. After some coaxing I entered the cold water and sat admiring how pale the water made my legs. Then Kyle, a boy in my YSA group, suggested they should go and touch the snow on the other end of the cliffs. A migraine had set in on my brain and I was barely moving as they decided to walk the tiny trail there. My friends that went on the adventure included: Breanna, Brianne, Becca, and Kyle. Twenty minutes later, Jennette and I heard shouting from the other end of the lake where our chaperones resided. Earlier they were hooting as the members of the YSA swung off the rope swing into the water. Their tones had changed consideribly and Jennete was starting to look concerned. She asked me what was going on and I just shook my head until I heard one of the leaders yell "get down from there!" Jenette and I exchanged a look and I swam out to face the cliffs.

"Do you see anything?" She asked.

"No," I said looking up trying to keep myself afloat while looking up toward the scene.
I could hear them, their voices were echoing off the cliffs and bouncing back to my ears, I could hear them...yet I could not see them. Their laughing was lighthearted yet you could catch that edge in their voice that said something was awry. In fact something was arwy, they were nearly three hundred feet up a six hundred foot mountain in swimsuits without shoes on. So i did a bit of research about Saint Charles Mountain which overlooks Bloomington Lake.

• The rock on Saint Charles Mountain is very rough and sharp.
• Standard routes are usually no harder than class 2 but more difficult routes can also be found. Some of the most interesting peaks remain unnamed and are seldom climbed.
• Classes 2 and 3 are steeper scrambling with increased exposure and a greater chance of severe injury, but falls are not always fatal.
• This route traverses the three summits of Saint Charles Mountain. The eastern summit is the highpoint, the central summit is where the impressive cliffs above Bloomington Lake are located, and the west summit is a pyramid shaped peak. The limestone cliffs above the Bloomington Lake are 600 feet high. There is an arch located on the side of one of the walls.
• Brianne, Kyle, Breanna, and Becca had no climbing gear and were wearing swimsuits and no shoes.

Jenette and I then decided we wanted to see exactly where they were...we could hear them but couldn't see them. We packed up hastily taking up our things and made the short climb over the rocks. Then on a high-ish out cropping we could see them. They were above us...meaning they climbed up rather than across because the rock out croppings went diagonally. After seeing them briefly I could hear Brianne and Becca hysterically laughing as they stood above us. "We're going to die!" laughed Becca and Bri.
"Positive thoughts!" Kyle yelled.

Jenette and I talked to them briefly on account of they could hear us and Bri

My heart thudded in my chest and my migraine intensified. The leaders sent Jen back to get the groups stuff back as they reached the red part that goes down to the snow...they were about to swim back for their things when we told them we'd already got them. When they were finally safely down I embraced my friends and scolded them for being so gosh darn silly. I asked why they didn't just turn around and Bri told me. "Its easier scaling up a cliff rather than down because you can't see below." No arguing with that fact but I agree. As Bri seated herself on a rock she inspected her foot to show me a nasty cut she had received on the jagged rocks of the the mountain. Her feet were stained brown and green her cut covered with mud and dirt. She inspected her arms as well showing me the multiple little shallow cuts and prickles in her fingers.

"Somewhere up there I looked down and there was a flap of skin hanging off my toe and I was bleeding everywhere.." Bri trailed off, "Becca told me I was going to lose my toe and I thought I sure hope not."
 "That was soo cool! I'm so glad you're alive" I recall saying.

"No, I was stupid. Not cool. I started stressing out up there when Breanna started shaking. Since she is afraid of heights I was then thankful you guys didn't come." Brianne said to me and Jenette.We looked up to see Kyle and Becca and Breanna finally sliding down the wavy textured snowy ice. Breanna was shaking and Becca was soothing her feet while talking about groping to a tree because it was what was keeping her from falling. Unfailingly though Kyle was very calm and collected about the whole ordeal...other than the fact that he had just barely cut his toe on the ice of all things. And After we ate and got our survivers stitched up... we all lived happily ever after! The rest is...left for another time to tell.

Destination One

College is nipping at my heels and the USU wind is blowing down my back to get to school soon. It's all so exciting isn't it, growing up making new friends? Lately, I've been admiring the fact that I can still lounge around doing what I wish while quenching my not so good addiction of Coca-Cola. As my other friends start their first days of college and the select others go back to high school, I can just laugh. Yes, soon I know I will be fretting about the stress of College but for now...I'll do what I want. Hopefully doing what I'll want will help me get a job a Hobby Lobby, I've been trying now for a couple of months and with school coming around the corner I'm doubtfully looking at the filled out application on my dresser. I've heard motivated people put up pictures of things they want and if they work hard enough they'll get them. Just thinking but my motivation has the speed of a snail right now.
Yesterday, I went to (REP) Realizing, Education, Potential up on campus. I met a lot of interesting people and all the cultures and people blending together was absolutely colorful experience. Oh my goodness the people were amazing and oh so smart! I felt a little out of place. I hang out with smart people...true story..but I'm mostly the comedic relief. I can handle a bit of educated talk then my limits come in and I say something compeletely ridiculous and they all look at me like they've tasted something sour. Curse my quick mouth and the slowness of my mental capacity.
Anyways..the people. I met two people in particular that seemed absolutely fantastic Nataly and Aaron? Yes, I think that was his name. In short they were pretty awesome.
This REP was extra special, we hung out with the facilitators and played Water Volleyball and had a Relay Race and there was a giant bouncy house we had to race through. In short we got wet and I jammed my finger pretty darn good.

Tyler Ward

Whenever I listen to Tyler Ward I just want to cry because he is just so darn good. Ah, his voice so melodic and smooth blended with the guitar into a harmonious tune..ah..it just slays me and probably about every other girl who has ever heard of him. Yesterday, my friend, Al had the greatest bash ever! The Christmas lights were hung up above the the "dance floor" which was hard packed dirt lot. Nonetheless it was beautiful on the lights she hung paper lanterns which made the area all the more glorious. As the party started into its climax everyone was dancing and dust flurried the air with the suffocating quality it happens to have, haha. It was like a party down on the Rez, not that I've ever been to a party on the Rez...Oldies music played and some new hits and whatever. It was pretty decent only filled with some minor awkwardness that has a complete other story connected to it. Ha, teenage life, so dramatic :). A night under the stars with good friends, chex mix, and colorful cups and water is a great night spent. I knew most of the people there yet there were some faces I could know better. What frightens me is that I won't get a chance to know all these people. Going to college this fall scares me, not in the academic way but in the social way. I'm desperately going to miss all my friends who went away for college. I have a few to name but won't. Golly, I could probably just cry and bawl right now and be fine. It will be fine though, I have a tea party today with another great group of friends...it will all be alright yeah? Yeah.

New Comer...

I guess I'm a new comer to this site, yeah. Who in the world knows why I wanted to start a blog...actually I do. It just seems like some sort of creative outlet for me I can type faster than I can write with a pencil so I guess that is kind of why. So far no blogs to follow or anything, apparently though, blogging is a big thing in the world. Anyways, I'm starting college soon and that brings in a mix of emotions, fear, worry, anticipation. Its like being on the bottom rung of the ladder once again. It should be fun but what concerns me is losing my friends the ones I hold dear to my heart. Yeah...