Missing people is tough. It's one of the hardest thing we will do in this life. It's that constant ache of remembering what used to be- by itself it's stifling hard and easy to get lost in. I remember the night before my friend Kyle was to leave for his mission. I started crying because I realized that was the last night that I would get to hang out with him for the next two years. I apologized later in a text for crying and for not knowing why I was crying. Then Kyle said something really unexpected, "It's okay Stacie, it just means you care about me."
I started bawling because it was true. We feel this grief when we love people so much that we can't even imagine them leaving us.
I miss a lot of people, my friend Kyle, my uncles Jones and Jr, my grandmother, my family in Arizona. I experience this emotion daily. The grief of being separated from those we love either by mortality or just space of time. Now imagine, how much our Heavenly Father misses us and how much he wants us to return to him. And how he does everything in his power to help us return to him. He paves a path for us to come back to him. The thing is though, is that we need to strengthen our relationship with our Father and pray to him because communication is a key part of curing the missing of someone.
When we miss someone and we have the power create a communication path with we shouldn't be missing them in the first place. We should write them, call them, visit them. Just because we can't physically be with them at that moment we should never underestimate any form of communication we were blessed with. And with communication with the Lord and with his strength and his Son's atonement all the pain we feel and grief of missing those no longer on this earth can be eased. He can help me fill the gap between my passed on Uncles and Grandmother. He can cure any pain or affliction of ours if we have faith.
Our future is as bright as our faith.
He loves us. Return to him.
I say these things because I honestly believe this is true.
love*love*love*
-Stacie D.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Surviving College
This is what I have learned about SURVIVING COLLEGE.
Navigating the walkways of college can be a daunting task and with all the hustle and bustle of college life who can blame you? You're on a walk way with hundreds of other people pouring out of buildings to get to class then at the same time you are dodging dozens of people on bikes, longboards, scooters and other contraptions. If you are finding yourself to be one of those bombarded few I have a few tips for surviving college. They are quite silly, but take heed because they are rather helpful.
1) Walking-If your classes are far apart from each other on campus I urge you to invest in some quality shoes. I currently wear my little slip on Roxy's but you know, to each his own.
2) Traveling- Get a scooter, or a bike, long board, roller blades. Learn your campus bus shuttle schedule or whatever you use for transportation where ever you go. It will more often than not get you to class on time and shave off a few minutes on your travels there. No kidding- my scooter- Maurice- has shaved off 3 minutes of walking. BUT BE SAFE- DO NOT KILL PEDESTRIANS. I have crashed into more than my fair share of people.
3) Be Prepared- carry an umbrella, extra pair of shoes, socks and jacket. If you go to college and end up in a rain storm unprepared you feel rotten the rest of your day. Since the weather in Utah is almost always unpredictable I carry these essentials in my bag- a rain poncho in pink, extra socks ( I detest wet socks they are the worst!), A brush/ comb, occasionally extra shoes in case mine get soaked. Bring snacks so that you can eat when you are hungry. Being prepared is essential to comfortable success.
4) Study Study Study- Take advantage of your breaks between classes and study. Stop in your library and take a minute to reflect on what you have learned and or will learn. Read your assigned chapters and become familiar with your subject matter. Your input into your subject will pay you back loads. Buy a planner and map out your classes and study hours I promise it helps a ton.
5) Be Friendly- If this is your first year or even your third, just be friendly with everyone. The first week of school you don't even know if you will see people again. You will learn people's names a hundred times over before you remember. Make lots of friends so you won't ever have to sit alone. I'm not saying befriend complete creepers. I'm saying talk to those people in your gen. ed. classes and get their numbers/ contact info so you can set up study times and get notes if you miss a day. Attend class often. Talk to your professor become "chummy" with them. You'll have them all semester long and if you have questions they are usually the best to ask. Get to know your instructor and your grades will reflect your good student-ness.
6) Get Involved- Join a club, Attend Institute, work out in a group. Be a contributing part of your ward. You will receive blessings beyond belief. Love the Lord and work hard, you'll get what is best for you!
7) HAVE FUN- C'mon it's college have fun attend parties but don't do anything you'd be uncomfortable with. Enjoy your company with friends but also with your homework even though its company isn't always as thrilling. Talk to people- Keep your head up and tell yourself you'll survive. The first year of college is all about figuring it out. It gets better I promise.
love* love *love
Stacie D.
May your travels be short and swift filled with good cheer!
Navigating the walkways of college can be a daunting task and with all the hustle and bustle of college life who can blame you? You're on a walk way with hundreds of other people pouring out of buildings to get to class then at the same time you are dodging dozens of people on bikes, longboards, scooters and other contraptions. If you are finding yourself to be one of those bombarded few I have a few tips for surviving college. They are quite silly, but take heed because they are rather helpful.
1) Walking-If your classes are far apart from each other on campus I urge you to invest in some quality shoes. I currently wear my little slip on Roxy's but you know, to each his own.
2) Traveling- Get a scooter, or a bike, long board, roller blades. Learn your campus bus shuttle schedule or whatever you use for transportation where ever you go. It will more often than not get you to class on time and shave off a few minutes on your travels there. No kidding- my scooter- Maurice- has shaved off 3 minutes of walking. BUT BE SAFE- DO NOT KILL PEDESTRIANS. I have crashed into more than my fair share of people.
3) Be Prepared- carry an umbrella, extra pair of shoes, socks and jacket. If you go to college and end up in a rain storm unprepared you feel rotten the rest of your day. Since the weather in Utah is almost always unpredictable I carry these essentials in my bag- a rain poncho in pink, extra socks ( I detest wet socks they are the worst!), A brush/ comb, occasionally extra shoes in case mine get soaked. Bring snacks so that you can eat when you are hungry. Being prepared is essential to comfortable success.
4) Study Study Study- Take advantage of your breaks between classes and study. Stop in your library and take a minute to reflect on what you have learned and or will learn. Read your assigned chapters and become familiar with your subject matter. Your input into your subject will pay you back loads. Buy a planner and map out your classes and study hours I promise it helps a ton.
5) Be Friendly- If this is your first year or even your third, just be friendly with everyone. The first week of school you don't even know if you will see people again. You will learn people's names a hundred times over before you remember. Make lots of friends so you won't ever have to sit alone. I'm not saying befriend complete creepers. I'm saying talk to those people in your gen. ed. classes and get their numbers/ contact info so you can set up study times and get notes if you miss a day. Attend class often. Talk to your professor become "chummy" with them. You'll have them all semester long and if you have questions they are usually the best to ask. Get to know your instructor and your grades will reflect your good student-ness.
6) Get Involved- Join a club, Attend Institute, work out in a group. Be a contributing part of your ward. You will receive blessings beyond belief. Love the Lord and work hard, you'll get what is best for you!
7) HAVE FUN- C'mon it's college have fun attend parties but don't do anything you'd be uncomfortable with. Enjoy your company with friends but also with your homework even though its company isn't always as thrilling. Talk to people- Keep your head up and tell yourself you'll survive. The first year of college is all about figuring it out. It gets better I promise.
love* love *love
Stacie D.
May your travels be short and swift filled with good cheer!
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Chapter None: Lonely is Almost Lovely
The number flipped, she registered the change by the click. She glanced over at the dusty old alarm clock it read in white numbering 11:59 pm. She sighed and walked over to the little island in her apartment and blew out the honeysuckle scented candle. The once burning wick barely managing to glow faintly, but with one more deep rooted sigh the ember in the wick went out all together.
She fumbled around in the dark hall on the way to her room. In a moment of pure exhaustion she flopped down on her bed the spring mattress squeaked in protest. Her bed was made. Her room was clean and empty. Huffing once she decided it'd probably be best that she change her shoes. Meaning she had to go to her closet-which required effort-begrudgingly she got up and took those meaningless strides to take off her shoes.
Slipping off her heels, which were a little more than ostentatious for this evening with her friend she shoved them roughly into the glossy blue box she got them in. Then quickly she slipped out of her dress flinging it into the laundry basket while scooping her pajamas from off the floor. Within seconds she is dressed.
Her oversized teeshirt smells like home and her ratty torn pajama pants make her feel normal. Then she remembers the chocolate on the top shelf.
"Make good choices." she reminds herself as she walks away, only to walk back in and grab a hand full of chocolates.
She returns to her bed and unwraps the tin foil off her candy, and reads " You have a lovely laugh." She rolls her eyes balls the foil and tosses it onto the ground. It's a conspiracy the company is preying on sad lonely girls like herself with fake claims of lovely smiles.
That's when she unravels. It's not okay. It's not okay what he did to her. She stares into the ceiling as she thinks of all that they did. Those sunny summer afternoons, in the church parking lot drawing with chalk creating gardens for everyone to see on Sunday. The midnight drives to Salt Lake for no absolute reason. Laying out in open fields staring into the sky and discovering constellations that didn't even exist. Feeling the cool grass that just extended out beyond the edge of the fraying blanket tickling her fingertips. When his hand shyly slipped into hers then the grasp of something a little more than friendship. She thought about the smell of wood chips and metal and swinging into the early morning hours just because they could. The laughing the night that buzzed along her skin fueling her excitement the contrast of chilly air against blushing cheeks.
Then school started, he disappeared with the green leaves sunny skies all beautifully wrapped up in a simple goodbye. He left her on shaky ground. He never said what they were. If they were anything at all. He didn't even seal it with a kiss. Maybe he didn't want her to miss him too much. The fall swept in killing all the leaves. He said he'd call but between exams and a budding career she had only received a few. Even in those he sounded drained so they were kept short. Tears pricked in her eyes. Fall had taken more than just whom she had fallen for but it also took more than it's fair share of tears.
She rolled over and buried her head in her pillow.
That's when she heard it. The small rap on the door. Her heart stuttered. She got up and wiped her eyes. She meandered down the hall and saw the door. Another rap shortly followed but it was hesitant. All she could do was stare for a minute. Then one more quiet knock, just one. She grabbed the handle and twisted it open.
She saw him heading down the stairs.
Her heart leapt. She called out to him and he turned around. There wrapped up in an instant was her summer. Clear skies of blue eyes. Short cropped blonde hair yellow as her daddies fields.
"Didn't think you'd let me get too far." He said with a flash of white teeth.
"I'd never think of it." She responded with a grin.
There on a dimly lit apartment stair case they embraced.
" I've missed you like...a lot." he whispered into her auburn hair.
"Good. Because I've missed you a heap."
His arms lock around her with that she feels the summer gust the warm persistent breeze on her face.
"It took me a while but I made it here later than I planned." he says still hugging her.
"That's fine I still have cheesecake in the fridge."
"Spoons?"
"Yup."
The End.
If you would like more be sure to comment down below. Although I doubt anyone will read this. I can even start from the beginning if you would like...making it up as I go. Name suggestions would be cool too.
She fumbled around in the dark hall on the way to her room. In a moment of pure exhaustion she flopped down on her bed the spring mattress squeaked in protest. Her bed was made. Her room was clean and empty. Huffing once she decided it'd probably be best that she change her shoes. Meaning she had to go to her closet-which required effort-begrudgingly she got up and took those meaningless strides to take off her shoes.
Slipping off her heels, which were a little more than ostentatious for this evening with her friend she shoved them roughly into the glossy blue box she got them in. Then quickly she slipped out of her dress flinging it into the laundry basket while scooping her pajamas from off the floor. Within seconds she is dressed.
Her oversized teeshirt smells like home and her ratty torn pajama pants make her feel normal. Then she remembers the chocolate on the top shelf.
"Make good choices." she reminds herself as she walks away, only to walk back in and grab a hand full of chocolates.
She returns to her bed and unwraps the tin foil off her candy, and reads " You have a lovely laugh." She rolls her eyes balls the foil and tosses it onto the ground. It's a conspiracy the company is preying on sad lonely girls like herself with fake claims of lovely smiles.
That's when she unravels. It's not okay. It's not okay what he did to her. She stares into the ceiling as she thinks of all that they did. Those sunny summer afternoons, in the church parking lot drawing with chalk creating gardens for everyone to see on Sunday. The midnight drives to Salt Lake for no absolute reason. Laying out in open fields staring into the sky and discovering constellations that didn't even exist. Feeling the cool grass that just extended out beyond the edge of the fraying blanket tickling her fingertips. When his hand shyly slipped into hers then the grasp of something a little more than friendship. She thought about the smell of wood chips and metal and swinging into the early morning hours just because they could. The laughing the night that buzzed along her skin fueling her excitement the contrast of chilly air against blushing cheeks.
Then school started, he disappeared with the green leaves sunny skies all beautifully wrapped up in a simple goodbye. He left her on shaky ground. He never said what they were. If they were anything at all. He didn't even seal it with a kiss. Maybe he didn't want her to miss him too much. The fall swept in killing all the leaves. He said he'd call but between exams and a budding career she had only received a few. Even in those he sounded drained so they were kept short. Tears pricked in her eyes. Fall had taken more than just whom she had fallen for but it also took more than it's fair share of tears.
She rolled over and buried her head in her pillow.
That's when she heard it. The small rap on the door. Her heart stuttered. She got up and wiped her eyes. She meandered down the hall and saw the door. Another rap shortly followed but it was hesitant. All she could do was stare for a minute. Then one more quiet knock, just one. She grabbed the handle and twisted it open.
She saw him heading down the stairs.
Her heart leapt. She called out to him and he turned around. There wrapped up in an instant was her summer. Clear skies of blue eyes. Short cropped blonde hair yellow as her daddies fields.
"Didn't think you'd let me get too far." He said with a flash of white teeth.
"I'd never think of it." She responded with a grin.
There on a dimly lit apartment stair case they embraced.
" I've missed you like...a lot." he whispered into her auburn hair.
"Good. Because I've missed you a heap."
His arms lock around her with that she feels the summer gust the warm persistent breeze on her face.
"It took me a while but I made it here later than I planned." he says still hugging her.
"That's fine I still have cheesecake in the fridge."
"Spoons?"
"Yup."
The End.
If you would like more be sure to comment down below. Although I doubt anyone will read this. I can even start from the beginning if you would like...making it up as I go. Name suggestions would be cool too.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Dreams
Silver light skies pin-pricked with the lights of heaven above the stars come out to stay. The thud of my heart rings true in my ears reminding me I in fact alive. I can feel the night, the electrifying feel of the night tickling my fingertips. My every sense has been heightened and I feel a difference within myself. Fingers dancing across the key board clack bringing a world that thrives within a head into tangible form. The rush of the writer begins, the thrill of coaxing a story from the head onto page begins. It's here, in real words, the writers biggest accomplishment and agony. It's before an audience as they devour the words that were so painstakingly written.
Uncertainty is always in the path, for a naive girl who hasn't yet experienced the world. The topics she writes about though have their own world systems. She can only hope she can get that world of hers out on that paper for everyone to see. She's sensitive to the critiques they have to offer, they tred recklessly on her words stomping down thoughts and ideas that have become special to her. Her imagination is leaked for the world to see, the people she knows and loves are finally known, her story so ardently written is off to slaughter.
Yet, this is her biggest dream/desire, to be heard and to be appreciated for what she has to offer to the world through thought. To be an independent and noticed for her thoughts, to be loved based on the mind. It's more than she can ask for. More than a young woman to ask for. She wants it so badly it's in every waking thought, each word scribbled down on scrap contributes to a her world to make it a whole. Its all and everything she could ask for.
She's a writer daring to be heard.
Uncertainty is always in the path, for a naive girl who hasn't yet experienced the world. The topics she writes about though have their own world systems. She can only hope she can get that world of hers out on that paper for everyone to see. She's sensitive to the critiques they have to offer, they tred recklessly on her words stomping down thoughts and ideas that have become special to her. Her imagination is leaked for the world to see, the people she knows and loves are finally known, her story so ardently written is off to slaughter.
Yet, this is her biggest dream/desire, to be heard and to be appreciated for what she has to offer to the world through thought. To be an independent and noticed for her thoughts, to be loved based on the mind. It's more than she can ask for. More than a young woman to ask for. She wants it so badly it's in every waking thought, each word scribbled down on scrap contributes to a her world to make it a whole. Its all and everything she could ask for.
She's a writer daring to be heard.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
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