I worry...

I'd like to go with the flow and not worry. Be the kind of person the current carries. I'm not though. Lately I feel like a rock. A few minutes ago I was eating charcoal bread on my bed. I was just staring at the light streaming in through my windows change colors. I was completely consumed with worry over something I don't have to worry for for a long time. There I was trapped in the undecided future and still sopping wet from the not too long ago past.

I seemed to have contentment in my pocket only a few months ago. It seemed everything was going my way. I had my best friends and I was happy. I knew what I wanted and I knew how to get it. Then suddenly, poof, my life was catapulted into a whole lot of crazy. I learned a few things that were good to learn, although I'd rather forget them. I've grown closer to a whole lot of people and in a way I'm better for all of that.

Then again I worry, I worry that I won't be as close with my friend who has just left. I worry that my new found friends at this point in the summer will leave come fall. I worry that the person whom I admire at this point won't admire me ever. I worry.

Yeah, I'm Stacie D. and I worry. All the time. Constantly. I guess that has a little to do with my growing up. Let's just say I was a very serious child. I think that today it's what I do. It's almost a horrible talent of mine. If you don't worry about it Stacie will. And you know what I know? I don't have to worry. You don't have to worry so hard. Because someone will always be waiting to hear your worries. No matter how silly, trivial, awkward, sad, funny, etc...Heavenly Father cares when I worry. He stills my worried soul and make things easier for me to manage. Not always right away, but he does. I know he waited up last night for me. After reading my scriptures after brushing my teeth, after all the random cell phone checks. He waited up to hear my worries.

And you know what? He understands. He knows me. He knows me better than I know myself. And he listens. And quietly he teaches me. When I pray I feel that stillness he is listening. Hearing. That comforts me enough to go to bed. The person who knows everything about everything and eternity listens to me.

Don't worry kids.
Pray.
Worried hearts get tired....so pray...feverently...intently...lovingly.

You Sure Are Neat!

Stacie D.